[This! Is! Mad Men! recaps the newest developments of Don Draper and his ragtag group of cohorts. In the spirit of the show, it will often be sexist and drunk. Apologies ahead of time.]

Pre-Show Expectations:

I’m really curious to see what goes down tonight. If last episode is the beginning of a trend, its seems as though Don Draper might be on the upswing – boozin’ less, treating women with respect, and just generally throwing his life together.

The online preview hinted at some potential lesbian action from Peggy. I’m not dying to see this, but it would an interesting evolutionary step for her to experiment sexually. We already know that she’s embodiment of the more socially conscious, self-aware woman of the 1960’s. Maybe the Mad Men crew is going to spice this up further with girl/girl love. Who knows though?

What I’m hoping to see is some more Pete Campbell. He’s been on the back burner lately, which is a damn shame. He’s a smug, self-righteous rich-boy and I can’t get enough of him. Maybe he’s going to continue to develop into something worthwhile; or maybe (as Don’s foil) he’ll just backslide.

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Anyone else remember this tune? I don’t know what made me think of it – probably just the firing of some random synapses that I haven’t used since high school.

Anyways, I’m pretty sure I still enjoy the track. What does this mean?!

It’s Friday. Praise the maker! And with the advent of Friday comes another edition of Press Start! It’s your look at the five things that caught my eye in gaming this week. What a busy fucking week it’s been in gaming, between the Tokyo Game Show, the launch of Halo, and the general progression towards the busiest season in pixels and polygons. As always, the disclaimer reads as follows: I have shitty tasty, and these five things are not reflective of the best or most important happenings of the week. Hit the comments box with what tickled your pink this week. We’re a community, let’s hug.

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#1: Super Mario Turns 25, Holy Shit.
The original Super Mario Bros. turned twenty-five this week. When I turned twenty-five, two years ago, I had barely lost my virginity and I was still an undergraduate. Needless to say, Super Mario has accomplished much more during his span on Earth. Twenty-five years of whipping his slave dinosaur, jumping into pipes, tripping balls on mushrooms, and continuing to fight for a princess who seriously isn’t ever going to give up the butt.

The man is something of a hero.

It’s hard to fathom a world without our favorite mustachioed fuck. The original Super Mario Bros. is iconic beyond reason. Somehow a quarter of a century later, we’re still humming the opening notes to the first few levels, and kids who didn’t grow up blowing in cartridges and the world of two-button controllers can appreciate the only plumber that’s ever been reasonably respected. It’s a trip, man.

I’ve grown up with this son of a bitch. Some of my earliest memories are watching my cousin play through the game, in a sort of confused splendor. I didn’t know what was going on in this dungeon levels, but I knew that the fireballs and that leaping lizard were clearly up to no good. As I got older, the boy-o stuck with me, and I can tell you with an open heart that I think I broke down and wept openly at the beauty that was Super Mario 64. My balls tingled, and maybe it was because I was thirteen, but that shit changed me.

If it weren’t for Mario, his clumsy fucking brother, a legion of douchey dinosaurs with airships, and a rotten ass Peach, I may not be penning this column today. I’d probably be doing something constructive, but what the fuck can you do.

Happy birthday, you fat fuck.

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#2: Asura’s Wrath Debuts At TGS; A God Fingering Looks Hot
The Tokyo Game Show was this week, and there was a general amount of hotness that was displayed. I have stopped paying attention to Japanese developers for the most part, and perhaps this convention flung the egg right onto my face. My bad! I grew up with Capcom, and Konami, and Squaresoft owning my soul. But over the years, I’ve drifted more towards Western developers, gradually coming to suck on the teat of studios such as BioWare and Bethesda with an outrageous passion. And a little bit of teeth.

This week at the TGS, Capcom dropped the trailer for Asura’s Wrath. It’s something of a spectacle, that reduced me to a slobbering mess. The most reductive means of describing it would be to call it the “Japanese equivalent of God of War” – and while that may be accurate to a degree, the amount of absurdity lost in that description is not acceptable. In the trailer, a dude is impaled with roughly ninety-three thousand spears, which you rip out via quick-time commands, and when that doesn’t stop him, his nemesis summons something. The god damn finger of a God, which rockets down through orbit towards him.

It’s the sort of insane concept that, frankly, really isn’t done much in the Western development world. (I’m sure you all have a dozen examples proven me wrong, sry.) My friend watched the trailer and told me it was “too anime”, and I already feel bad for the young child who finds his body behind the dumpster. I have a bit of a temper.

This shit has me percolating.

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#3: 72% of Parents Support Violent Game Restrictions, Refuse To Parent
Perhaps as old as Super Mario is the debate over violent video games. So it seems fitting that in the same week that Mr. Mario turns twenty-five, yet another survey comes out regarding the dastardly concept of video game violence. According to this poll by Common Sense Media, 72% of adults support restrictions that would prevent kids from buying violent video games.

Another poll, taken by myself, and administered by myself, found that I generally believe that 95% of us human beings (including me) probably should not smash sperm into egg and replicate. God forbid, if, after we make that most grand of mistakes, we should actually have to parent the hellspawn we ripped out of canal. That would be like, crazy, you know?

Now listen, I know there’s something to be said for preventing Little Todd the Pukestain from buying a video game that features ass-fucking and machine gun fire. I just think that an at-counter restriction should probably be the last line of defense. Maybe parents should a) prevent their kid from buying the game themselves and b) have the capacity to explain to them the different between a virtual and real world. Though, given the progress of society, and our continued integration with augmented-reality, this may require a Ph.D in cultural theory by the time Lil Caffeine Powered is wrought unto this world.

Just sayin’.

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[images & words is the comic book pick-of-the-week at OL. equal parts review and diatribe, the post highlights the most memorable/infuriating/entertaining book released that wednesday]

Sometimes I feel as though I might be some sort of alien entity, a stranger without a tribe. It’s easy to fall for this illusion as our culture puts so much emphasis on the individual. You are so special. There is no one quite like you. After all, you are one of a kind. And while I understand the motives behind the self-esteem movement, I find the outcomes disastrous; instead of being taught to help one another because we’re all crew members on Spaceship Earth, individuals come to see themselves as completely separate.

And not even fragmented sections of a whole. Different from, and incapable of relating to, others. But my hippie-sense is telling me that there aren’t really any others, just anothers.

Okay, let me pause for a moment as I dance on this fine line. I’m not saying that humanity is a homogeneous being or that every person is identical. Really, I’m not. Truth be told, I think the way that the mouth-breathing masses develop is quite different than those upon whom I heap admiration. There are all different shades of humanity. But sometimes I forget that the progressing hues all reside on the same gradient scale.

So why is my newfound interest in commonality making its way onto OL? Well, because I love Joe the Barbarian. And I love the comic because it reminds me that there are shared facets of the human experience.

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Team ICO has dropped Ico and Shadow of the Colossus on our asses. And while we’re not worthy of either of these beauties, and we have paid for those inadequacies in heart-wrenching tears, I think it’s safe to say that we’re all clamoring for the team’s next release: The Last Guardian. Info about the title has been sparse like my nuts are stank, but today at the Tokyo Game Show, Sony dropped a trailer. It’s gorgeous. Prepare to feel the beauty, yo. Hit the jump to check out the video.

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[Views From The Space-Ship, aka Desktop Tuesdays, aka Desktop Thursdays  is a (theoretically) weekly column where show you my worlds. Both real and virtual. Then, I invite you to share your own worlds in the comments!]

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Steve Jobs is a bad motherfucker. I’ve known this since it became clear that Apple was going toe-to-toe with Google to take over the world and mind-rape us with telepathic waves emanating from their devices. However, I have begun to fear that the Apple-pocalypse is sooner than we think. Why? Well, remember when Steve Jobs was sick last year or some shit? And looked awful? Recent news has made one thing clear: Steve Jobs actually passed away and was resurrected by The Hand. Oh wait? You think the Hand is just an undead ninja clan from the Marvel Universe?

Then check this out: Steve Jobs was stopped last year by airport security from boarding his own private plane. Why? ‘Cause the dude was trying to bring shuriken aboard. How else do you explain it? It’s obvious.

According to a Japanese magazine, Spa!, Jobs was stopped by what were obviously Forces of Good from boarding his own plane last year. They stopped him because he was trying to bring ninja stars aboard. He then pointed out to them that it seemed a bit absurd to worry that he was going to hijack his own plane, not revealing his true intentions: planning to kill everyone who complained about the forthcoming Death Grip on the iPhone 4, and the price of an iPad. Jobs then swore off ever going to Japan again (I’m not making this up), and probably sent Hand ninjas to assaassainate the grandmothers of those who stopped him.

As I said, Steve Jobs is a bad motherfucker.

Alright Capcom, what the fuck is this shit? I just crapped my pants and puked all over my keyboard watching your trailer for Asura’s Wrath. It is among the most insane things I’ve ever seen, and makes my previous fapping over Shadows of the Damned look fucking antiquated and misplaced. Asura’s Wrath’s trailed needs to be watched to appreciate. Nothing like a good chap fighting an entire army while getting impaled by hundreds of spears. Not to cut him some slack, his enemy then summons a fucking god that brings the finger of death from outer space to lay an ass-whupping. Just watch this fucking trailer after the jump.

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Jesus Christ. This shit came out of nowhere for me. Suda 51 (No More Heroes) and Shinji Mikami (Resident Evil 4, amongst 3,000 other things) are teaming-up to form the video game equivalent of the WWF’s Two Dudes With Attitudes. We’ll figure out who is Diesel and who is HBK later. Today at TGS they dropped the trailer for their game, Shadows of the Damned, which is amongst other things, fucking awesome, and ridiculous. Hit the jump to check out the trailer.

You’re welcome for the genital engorgement that follows.

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