Oh shit! Fallout: New Vegas is mine, and we’re up and running. Took the little glorious piece of software into my nerdungeonhovel, and we took a liking to one another quickly. I don’t know if it’s love at first sight, but it’s certainly lust at first glance.

From the moment I awake, there is no reprieve from the Beast. He chases me on my way to work, his hot breath burning the hairs off the back of my neck. All day he skulks about my place of business, steaming up my glass door and flexing his gargantuan muscles. He drools all over the floor and the janitor gets a second degree burn trying to mop it up. My co-workers lock themselves in their offices and bolt for the exit when they think he’s not looking.

Most of them make it out alive.

Finally, I clock out for the day. I pack my bags and grab my wallet. Walking to my car, I have no fear for I know I shall defeat the Beast.

His name is Comics and we battle every Wednesday.

Welcome to Variant Covers!

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Well, isn’t this embarrassing. A star way out in a distant galaxy was trying to off itself per usual fashion, courtesy of the supernova. But unfortunately for the son of a bitch, its dazzling explosion was muffled by two huge dust clouds that were cast off before the star died. Bummer, yo. Not only is this poor star about to go out, but it didn’t even suffer the dignity of being able to complete its supernova. Carry on my wayward star, may you get the respect in your afterlife that you failed to achieve in this dimension.

How about a look at the SHIELD Helicarrier from the upcoming Avengers’ flick? Sold? Of course you are. If you’re reading this website you’re either horribly lost, or a nerd. Or, depending on what you were typing into a search box that let you to this den of depraved and debauched acts, both. These designs are by George Hull, and are being directed into your gray matter courtesy of io9.

What do you think of the look? I like the turbines that that use in the comic books, but I can learn to love this take on the classic flying bastard.

When has Dexter Morgan passed the point of no return? When has the dude finally fucked up far too righteously to recover from? I ask, because if the dude hasn’t gotten there yet, he’s getting precariously close. If he hasn’t crossed the Rubicon, he’s certainly nuzzling up next to it.

Here’s a point for Would-Be savers of rape and homicide victims: when you’re trying to calm them down, don’t have them in a headlock. If you’re trying to assure them that they’re okay, don’t do it while administering a rear naked chokehold. Our boy Dexter misses that essential point in this episode, while trying to calm down the female he saved from Boyd’s writhing stache of prowess, Lumen.

“No no, seriously calm down! Everything is cool! Ignore the shed I’ve got you locked in, or the fast that I’m trying to give you the Boston Crab, or that I killed someone. Everything is fine. Dope. Solid even.”

Dexter spends the entire episode spiraling out of control. His life is in tatters, his existential status a tailspin of tremendous splendor. The dude just offed the coolest mustache in the state of Florida. Dang. His hot Irish baby sitter just quit. Double dang. And some uppity broad who isn’t cool with getting locked up in alligator country needs to be dealt with.

What’s a dude to do?

Why, consult Harry!

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[This! Is! Mad Men! is a recap of the newest developments of Don Draper and his lovable gang of capitalist sleazeballs. Sometimes it’s liveblogged, sometimes not. In the spirit of the show, the post itself will often be sexist and drunk. Apologies ahead of time.]

Why do we put up with the bullshit in our lives? Why do we drag our existences through the mud? Knowing that we only have one-way tickets on Spaceship Earth, why don’t we do more to enjoy the ride?

The short answer — most of us don’t even know.

Neither does Don Draper.

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Debate over.

Han never rocked this hard.

[images & words is the comic book pick-of-the-week at OL. equal parts review and diatribe, the post highlights the most memorable/infuriating/entertaining book released that wednesday]

[cue the music]

KRAKKA-BOOM!

The lightning cuts the atmosphere in half. Believers raise their eyes skyward as they suck in a whiff of ozone, an affirmation of their hopes and dreams. Skeptics raise their eyes skyward, incredulous no more. There is a new presence in the air. A force to be reckoned with. A beautiful blond with a heavy fuggin’ hammer.

THOR. As written by Matt Fraction. And illustrated by Pasqual Ferry.

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Well, I wasn’t expecting this. Despite covering the announcement of Marvel television with Jeph Loeb helming it, I had sort of forgotten entirely about its existence. I was reminded today like fucking woah when it came out that not only is the Hulk being prepped for a television series, but Del Toro himself is making a pitch for it.

slashfilm:

Deadline and The Live Feed have the news, announcing that Marvel and ABC are currently in very early stages of development of a live-action (most likely hour-long) series adaptation of the comic book character. The project is part of a push from Marvel to enter the TV realm, kicked off last summer with the launch of Marvel Television. Heroes exec producer Jeph Loeb is the head of the operation, and The Hulk was among two high priority projects they settled on.

Slash points out an obvious but good question: isn’t this just inviting confusion? Dude’s gone through a fucking ludicrous amount of iterations within the last ten years alone. First Eric Bana, then Edward Norton, and currently Mark Ruffalo in the movies. But now they’re tacking on a separate television universe? Aren’t the mouthbreathers going to get confused? Dur! Where is that there guy from the TV tube! Why aren’t he one of them Avengers!

Two different Hulks existing in two different mediums? I don’t know, it seems to be muddying the waters a bit. But there’s good news at least! Fucking David Eick of Battlestar Galactica and Guillermo Del Toro are pitching a take? That’s fucking fantastic. Almost too good to be true.

Somehow I missed the news that Marvel and ESPN have teamed up to produce promotional materials for the upcoming NBA season. Dopest part? They’re referencing classic Marvel shiznit. Like the Infinity Gauntlet! Somehow, this makes sense, since Marvel and ESPN are both owned by Disney, through way of ABC or uh, something. I can’t keep track. But whatever the case, it’s dope. And here’s hoping Kobe-Thanatos can take out LeBron James and the Uncanny Douchebags this year. Yeah, I said it.

Speaking of which, hit the jump for a LeBron James riff on the classic Amazing Spider-Man issue where Peter gives up the costume.

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