Variant Covers: Blind Bats Kick Ass! Trick or Treat, Bitch!

From the moment I awake, there is no reprieve from the Beast. He chases me on my way to work, his hot breath burning the hairs off the back of my neck. All day he skulks about my place of business, steaming up my glass door and flexing his gargantuan muscles. He drools all over the floor and the janitor gets a second degree burn trying to mop it up. My co-workers lock themselves in their offices and bolt for the exit when they think he’s not looking.

Most of them make it out alive.

Finally, I clock out for the day. I pack my bags and grab my wallet. Walking to my car, I have no fear for I know I shall defeat the Beast.

His name is Comics and we battle every Wednesday.

Welcome to Variant Covers!

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Batman and Robin #15

Grant Morrison and Frazer Irving are going to rock the shit out of this concluding chapter of Batman Must Die. Since being put in charge of the Bat-Universe a few years back, Morrison has done nothing but amazing things for the franchise. Say what you will about flops like Final Crisis, the Scot has done wonders for the cape’n’cowl.

So what’s going to happen in this issue? I’m not sure — probably something that’ll tie into The Return of Bruce Wayne. With that being said, I think we’ve still got a recipe for success: Dick Grayson and Damian are in a struggle for their lives against the likes of Thomas Wayne and Professor Pyg. Yeah, Morrison’s potentially reconstructing the foundation of the Bat-mythos while still added his own new scaffolding on top.

Shit’s kooky bananas. In a good way.

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Daredevil #511

For the last five years (when I rediscovered my childhood love of comics) I have consistently found Daredevil to be the best monthly title. From Bendis to Brubaker to Diggle, the writing has been absolutely extraordinary. Matt Murdock ceased to be a blind lame-ass and became a deeply troubled bad-ass.

His secret identity was compromised. He was locked up in jail. His wife had a mental breakdown and he cheated on her. Scandals ensued. And with the weight of the world coming down on him, Matt Murdock was broken.

Through a meticulously well-crafted slow-boil of a narrative, the creative forces turned a superhero into a vigilante, and then a vigilante into a madman. For the last year, Daredevil’s been leading the Hand and presiding over his fortress/termple Shadowland. It’s been some of the most interesting superhero stuff I’ve ever read, an inside look at how a series of bad decisions can mix with rotten luck to absolutely ruin an individual.

Truthfully, I feel like this amazing hot-streak is about to come to an end. Pretty soon Murdock’s going to be out of the Man Without Fear title, a move that I suspect won’t last long. Anyways, the current story has taken a more supernatural turn, suggesting that Murdock wasn’t just corrupted but actually possessed by a demon.

*Yawn*

But fugg it, blind bastard’s been good to me so he’ll get my Amerikan dollars.

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Kick-Ass 2 #1

I’m a sucker for Mark Millar. I’m not going to hide it. Do I think he’s starting to rely on the same `ole tricks a bit too much? Sure. There’s no denying that he has used his favorite character (the discontent young male who just wishes he could live a super-life…wait, what’s that? He can?! Ya don’t say!?). But he does it well and puts enough of a spin on it each time to get me coming back for more.

Yes, if you’re Superior you probably Wanted to Kick-Ass but remembered that it hasn’t been cool since 1985.

I enjoyed Kick-Ass and look forward to a sequel. Truthfully, I’ve avoided any/all spoilers but still feel as though I have a good grasp on what’s to come. There’ll be ultra-violence and vulgarity, for sure. There will probably be lots of references and bits of obscure comics trivia for the fanboys. A little girl will murder someone. And a life lesson about never giving up will be learned.

I’m in.

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DCU Halloween Special 2010

I’m a big fan of the holiday specials that the Big Two put out. I know, I know, it’s a marketing ploy to exploit the festive seasons and the unwitting comics fans. But I honestly enjoy these specials — they usually offer whimsical self-contained stories by creators whose names may not be recognizable (yet).

Apparently this book is going to feature a wide array of heroes and villains, making for a truly spooky one-shot! Maybe Superman will pat Etrigan’s back as he throws up the ten-pound sack of candy corn he scoffed down. Or maybe Bruce will get upset when Dick turns the Batcave into a haunted house without permission! Who knows?! It might get wild!

Seriously, though, with Halloween just around the corner this seems like a good purchase. It’s a crapshoot, I admit, but I think it’s going to be more treat than trick.