[Chris Samnee via Comic Twart]

Chris Samnee, artist on the joyride Thor: The Mighty Avenger, is one of my current favorites. So it makes sense that his minimalist take of his on the JLA gives me a fanboy boner alert. Head over to Comic Twart for more minimalist renditions of your favorite collection of capes and cowls by some rather talented folk.

Brunch is the most elusive member of la Famiglia Meal, leaving the house at the age of seventeen to follow Tesla on the road. A couple times a year, Brunch returns to do his laundry and borrow some cash. Without question, he’s the epitome of the prodigal son.

Today I was blessed by a visit from Brunch. Not only did he give me a big hug and recount his misadventures as a roadie, but he showed me his new tattoo. I never would have thought that Brunch would be blazoned with such a work of skin-art, but now I can’t picture him without it. Brunch has changed, irrevocably and for the better.

Brunch, as I learned today, is so much better when accompanied by a cold brew. Specifically, while eating my food I sipped on Clementine from the kind souls at the Clown Shoes Brewery.

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Everyone that tells the Brothers OL to lay off the caffeine and energy drinks can officially cram it!

Unless you were born in the 1800s, you undoubtedly realize that Frank Thomas is the greatest athlete of all time; check out the Big Hurt promoting the ultra-safe, certainly-good-for-you energy powder ZizZazz!

The energy boost was something I needed to play professional baseball.

That’s what we’re saying! Just about writing and reading and…uh…playing video juegos and whatnot.

Well here is something that I never would have predicted. Zac Efron is reportedly in talks to star in a live-action rendition of motherfuckin’ Akira. Say what?

Slashfilm:

Another rumor which is making the tracking board rounds today is that Zac Efron has apparently been offered the lead role in Albert Hughes’ upcoming live-action adaptation of the popular anime/Katsuhiro Otomo‘s six-volume manga Akira. I’m not able to confirm the offer, but one source tells me Efron is in talks, while another says that it is “far from a done deal.”

Far from done? Phew. Naw, I don’t know. I never actually expected this movie to get done, so the fact that there’s any sort of talks is impressive unto itself. Efron does come off as a super effeminate, anime-esque character with them big eyes and that gorgeous body and his charming smile and…and…Wait, what was I talking about?

There’s a tasty rumor morsel for you good folks today. Thoughts?

God damn I love me some augmented reality. And god damn do I love me some BERG. Last year (holy fuck it’s been that long already?) I posted a link to BERG’s vision of a tablet. It was glossy technology sex, and it still arouses me in ways that the iPad could never fathom.

So what’s this newest video about?

Let’s let BERG themselves explain it:

Each of the ideas in the film treat the surface as a focus, rather than the channel or the content delivered. Here, media includes messages from friends and social services, like foursquare or Twitter, and also more functional messages from companies or services like banks or airlines alongside large traditional big ‘M’ Media (like broadcast or news publishing).

All surfaces have access to connectivity. All surfaces are displays responsive to people, context, and timing. If any surface could show anything, would the loudest or the most polite win? Surfaces which show the smartest most relevant material in any given context will be the most warmly received.

It’s stunning. I can’t imagine life without caffeine, these people are busy projecting the future. Hit the jump, to embrace the infinity of promise!

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Oh good! I’ve been eagerly anticipating who is going to play the preachy annoying ass old Uncle and the fucking useless save for emo-kid pep talks Aunt in the Spider-Man reboot being directed by Marc Webb. Well, now I have to wait no longer! Apparently both roles have been cast.

io9:

Martin Sheen, who I would certainly consider one of Hollywood’s most avuncular actors, has reportedly been cast as the new Uncle Ben in Marc Webb’s reboot. It’s unclear whether he will appear in the main narrative, which would suggest the story is retelling Spider-Man’s origins from the beginning, or whether he will (probably more likely) just appear in flashbacks. Either way, this fits well with earlier reports that the filmmakers were casting a child Peter Parker, which definitely would involve scenes when Uncle Ben was alive. Also, another report says Sally Field is in talks to play Aunt May.

Thoughts? I don’t really care either way. Casting that neither offends, nor amazes.

And on a final note, may I just say fuck Uncle Ben. Dude is always preaching about responsibility and shit, but he didn’t even take out a life insurance policy on himself. Then his dumb ass gets shot because he won’t give up his rickety piece of shit car, and leaves his disgustingly old wife behind to tend to his socially retarded but brilliant nephew. He needs to get off his soap box, but that’s just my opinion.

[slaterman23 via Gamefreaks]

Don your goggles! Prepare your stave of dismemberment! Summon your courage.   As I type this, it’s Thursday night. I have my lucky underwear affixed to sticky nerd crotch. I have soda en masse at my side. This is Press Start! My guide to the five things that caught my attention in gaming this week. Imma level with you chaps and do-gooders. This week’s gaming news can be broken down into two categories: fetid bullshit pertaining to Microsoft Kinect, and the Supreme Court case currently being held regarding video games. However!, I promise you turd consumers five. So I will deliver. But if you find them particularly weak sauce, I have a special place in my sticky nerd panties for you.

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#1: Microsoft Launches Kinect, Dickheads And Assholes Rejoice
That ass clown bench pressing his solid stick of plastic shit is Peter Gonzales. I know this, because Kotaku knows this. No matter how much of a valuable contributor to the community he is, or donor to good will he is, or sterling husband he is, Gonzales is a douchebag. I’m sorry Pete. You’re probably a great guy.

But you’re a douche.

Peter waited in line for two days to get his Microsoft Kinect. That’s amazing. You want to know why? ‘Cause I was at Target today, and they had them stacked up by the register. I’m not even fucking fronting. So for all your fist-pumping, and your assuredly stank ass wafting through the store as you cheered, and those retarded clerks clapping, it was for nothing. You waited two days to buy a piece of shit that they’re probably stocking at your local Walgreens.

Maybe they clapped when the first dude stapled his ball bag to a plank of wood and then tried to snowboard with it. I don’t fucking know.

Kinect dropped, and I still waver between hating it, and finding it a neat, overly-expensive bit of techo-wankery. Actually I hate it, but I find myself vaguely drawn to it. It all works out in the end though, because of all the people I despise on Spaceship Earth, I loathe myself the most.

Get ready for an onslaught of clapping vapid monkey men and women on Good Morning Today USA Show, as they gesture wildly pretending to pet a tiger or throw a volleyball or some shit. Awkward middle class white people are going to eat this shit up. Pretend to care about playing it at parties while they try and discuss post-colonial literature, which they also don’t care about. Dancing like goons, while hoping the wine will take hold of everyone, and they can start slapping grimy genitals on the overly expensive oriental rug.

Fuck Microsoft Kinect.

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#2: Even Madden 11 Knows Donovan McNabb Is An Out of Shape, Pukey Suck-Ass
If you follow football, one thing should be apparent to you. Despite being cute, and able to sling a football really well, Donovan McNabb is overrated, and barfs up all over himself in big games. Like, no, literally. Do a Google Search. He did it at Syracuse, he did in the regular season, and he did it in the Superbowl. And his running of a two-minute drill is astonishing. He just sort of pukes as he walks, while flinging errant pass after errant pass. By the way, McNabb, thanks for blowing it. I still wear my greasy Patriots championship t-shirt, years of sweat caked into the armpits, years of semen caked into the fabric near the tummy area.

For some reason, Mike Shanahan didn’t know this when he traded for Donovan over the summer. But he realizes it now. Oh boy, does he. On Sunday, McNabb was pulled with two minutes left for the inestimably untalented Rex Grossman. What follow was a stunning display of bullshit reasons by Shanahan, the most decided of which was that McNabb’s got shit cardiovascular.

The best part? With the next roster update, Madden 11 is dropping McNabb’s stamina from a 95 to an 87. I don’t play Madden, nor do I give a fuck, but I still find it amazing.

Apparently the drop is almost inconsequential, but it’s great that shit talking and a coach’s comments can effect a dude’s video game attributes. Tough luck, Pukey McVomitsalot.

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#3: Star Wars Goes Augmented Reality In iPhone Game
Augmented reality is radical, yo. Like, really radical. Vertigore Games realized this, and they channeled that incontrovertible truth into a fucking dope game coming out for the iPhone. Star Wars: Falcon Gunner works through the phone’s camera, projecting tie fighters onto a cityscape of your choice. It’s so basic, yet so incredibly dope.

Augmented reality! When the fuck am I going to be able to look through lenses built into my ocular parts and see a projection of Princess Leia getting down with Jabba the Hut? And upon manipulating the images in front of me, the force feedback electrodes strapped to my crotch will get convincingly erotic feedback. The future is coming, Jesus Christ, it’s already here.

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Of all the games I want that are actually announced, Dead Space 2 is the one I’m sweating the most. The original was the best rendition of Event Alien Horizon Scientology ever. It scared the crap out of me while hooking deep into my gaming soul with its presentation, graphics, storyline, and most importantly gameplay.

I have no idea what Dead Space 2 is about. Watching this trailer though, it seems to be taking place in a crumbling futuristic city. Oh god, did they just infuse one of my favorite game’s sequels with futuristic cyberpunk wankery? It’s almost too good to be true.

Strap on a diaper if you’re a wimp like me, and hit the jump for the new trailer.

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