GameStop Selling Specialized Android Tables In 200 U.S. Stores. iCare?
Woof! Coming out of the box with a brutal pun. GameStop wants in on the handy-dandy-profit-candy that is mobile wandering gaming time. It’s been known that they were going to release a tablet, and now they’re doing a test run.
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The Asteroid Lutetia Is Floating Reminder Of Our Solar System’s Birth.
The asteroid Lutetia is a “primitive body”, which means that the son of a bitch was around at the formation of our solar system. Lutetia is currently single, and despite her advanced age is still looking for love.
Fear Fest: Irrational Fears! Or, That Chair Wants To Kill You.
OCTOBER 30th, Irrational Fears
“I think it would be very foolish not to take the irrational seriously.”
-Jeanette WInterson
Today we’re going to switch gears a bit. For the past month I’ve been picking one fear per day and running with that. Today we’ll quickly look at some irrational fears. I mean like the really weird fears … the kind that make you laugh. The kind of fears that when someone says they have it, you reply incredulously and probably lose a friendship. So, let’s dive right in.
OCTOBERFEAST – Roasted Pumpkin Seeds
[OCTOBERFEAST is the greatest celebration of the year, a revelry dedicated to pop-culture’s most nutritious Halloween detritus. Plastic screams and artificial sweeteners have never been more bountiful. In the old country, villagers refer to the extended party as Satan’s Snacktime]
If you ain’t ready for a snack on this penultimate day of the OCTOBERFEAST, then you haven’t been partying hard enough. But if you count yourself amongst the hordes of mischievous maniacs that’ve been on a month-long plastic-horror marathon, then you probably need some sustenance to get to Hallow’s Eve. If only just a handful of somethin’ or other.
Fortunately, today is the day for Heretical Confirmation known as Jack O’ Lantern carving. Yes, the day before Halloween is when many of the Feasters disembowel their pumpkins, recite the unholy words, and transform them into gourded sentries. While this rite is important in that it helps cast an orange glow over the conclusion of Satan’s Snacktime, it also yields a most appetizing byproduct.
Pumpkin seeds.
It’s hard to find a treat as intrinsically connected to the OCTOBERFEAST as roasted pumpkin seeds. Sure, apple pies and pumpkin pies and candy all certainly play their respective parts, but they also periodically pop up at other times of the year. But roasted pumpkin seeds? When was the last time you snacked on some of those sonovabitches at Christmas? Most likely, never. Which is a damn shame, because they’re crunchy and salty and fun as junk to make.
Tomorrow’s the day we’ve all been waiting for. Samhain. Hallow’s Eve. The Big Orange and Black Dance. Make sure that you’ve got enough energy to last through its day and night. So just as marathoners gorge on pasta the night before their twenty-six plus, make sure you chomp on pumpkin seeds until they stab your gums and make `em bleed.
Need a recipe? Look no further!
Artificial Blood Made From Bone Marrow Stem Cells? Science: Awesome.
Researches are working on a technique that could created artificial red blood cells from bone marrow stem cells. This is a good thing, because the Forthcoming Vampire Robot Economic Apocalypse will demand that we have food for the vampires, blood to sell, and spare juice for the wounded body parts.
Samuel L. Jackson Is Highest-Grossing Actor of All Time. Wait, He Acts?
Samuel L. Jackson is now officially the highest-grossing actor of all time. Whoop there it is!
BioWare Growing Community Through Cross-Platform Releases. Cross-Market Wunderfest!
Brand is everything. Products are irrelevant. BioWare is a brand, building brands. They need a community of consumers slathering and lathering at their brands. How can they grow this fucking community? Why, they’ve got to kick down the barriers of markethood and spread their brands into every niche possible. Just video games? You fucking neanderthals.
The White Rock Fingers of Mars Are Clawfully Awesome. [Pun Fail ++]
55-Gallon Tub Of Lube Promises The Slickest of Orifices. Forever.
I know what you’re thinking. “Sometimes in the midst of raging carnality, I despair at my lack of lube. Goddamn if only we had been a bit more judicious with our usage of it last week, but Jesus Christ the cantalope was calling.” Now you’re never going to need to worry again. You can buy a 55-gallon tub of lube.
Obsidian Entertainment Developing Game For ‘Leading Animation Franchise’. Poor Bastards.
Obsidian Entertainment. The company that (to me) took a fat shit all over the KOTOR and Fallout franchises. Twice being tagged in to come up with sequels to beast mode wunder-titles. Twice defecating. Everywhere. Now they’re developing for an enormous animation franchise or something. I feel bad for this foolish company.
