Spaceship Omega: REIGNITE THE ENGINES OF WONDER.
Hello friends! As unfortunately predicted it’s been quiet around these parts as I endured the semester’s climax. Clenching genitals and wobbly knees, I have returned to you. Papers done, presentations awkwardly administered, a Christmas break upon me.
Thanks for hanging with the silence. I’ve missed you and your musk. Or you gently lathered perfume. Or your gunk-covered gym junk. Whatever the case.
How you been?
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Televised Days of Christmas: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
[Is there a better way to celebrate the manger-birth of a superpowered messiah-baby than watching television? Hell no! Join Rendar Frankenstein as he navigates Spaceship OL through the Televised Days of Christmas!]
It can’t be easy to be Santa.
Sure, the guy doesn’t have to work most days of the year. His extended vacation lasts from about December 26th through December 23rd, excepting the occasional check-ins to make sure his slaves helpers aren’t slackin’. He has the distinct pleasure of hanging his stockings with Mrs. Claus.
There’s no doubt that the jolly fat man has a nice life.
Still, Santa has the most stressful job imaginable. In a single night, the dude travels the globe, delivering presents to every single good boy and girl – a task that demands physical prowess, mental clarity, and incredible courage. By the end of his circumnavigation, St. Nick’s body has withstood incalculable g-force speeds, been stretched and crumpled through Chimneys in Chinese acrobat facsimiles, and subjected to countless cookie-calories. Through all this, Santa manages to keep a perfect record of which presents (or coal-lumps) go to which kids, never making a mistake along the way. And to top it all off, the white-beard’s got John McClane-sized balls, visiting even the homes of deserving children who just so happen to have meth-smokin’ gun enthusiasts for parents.
The only way Santa’s job could be more daunting is if his philanthropy had to go interplanetary.
So what are the implications of other planets making demands of Earth’s resident avatar of goodwill? How does a lifelong altruist react he’s told that he’s not reaching enough people? What happens when a holiday conflict goes worlds-wide?
Well, it just so happens that Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.
New ‘Hunger Games’ Poster! Katniss! Peeta! Photoshop!
Zomg, it’s Katniss and Peeta and they’re like, on a bunch of a screens. A new poster!
Trailer: ‘Expendables 2’ Teaser Trailer? RAW MEAT AND MACHINE GUN SHELLS.
Fucking testosterone! Smash things! Fuck stuff! Guns! Muscles! Welcome to the Expendables 2 teaser trailer.
Co-Creator of ‘Captain America’ Joe Simon Passes Away. Dew-Pouring Salute.
Joe Simon passed away today at the age of 98. Shedding the mortal coil, let us imagine him awash in a reality where he can hang out with all of his creations.
Official ‘Amazing Spider-Man’ Movie Site Opens, Drops New Images.
The official site for the Marc Webb-Emma-Stone-Oh-Yeah-Andrew-Garfield powered Amazing Spider-Man flick has opened, and it has bestowed upon us the geeky masses some new images.
Wrapped Deluxe NES For $16,000? ‘Tis The Season Or Some Sh*t!
Yo! How much you willing to plunk down for an original NES “wrapped” super deluxe version? $150? Okay that’s a good starting point but let us barter until you say $16,000.
Televised Days of Christmas: Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future
[Is there a better way to celebrate the manger-birth of a superpowered messiah-baby than watching television? Hell no! Join Rendar Frankenstein as he navigates Spaceship OL through the Televised Days of Christmas!]
There’s no denyin’ that there’s some debate as to how Christmas should be celebrated. Religious-folk’ll tell you that the purpose of the holiday is to commemorate the birth of Jesus Christ, and as such there should be plenty of Nativity scenes and trips to church and prayers uttered. On the other hand, secular-folk’ll tell you that the spirit of season is to make a concerted effort to spend time with friends and family, honoring our fellowships with feasts and drinking-bouts and gift-giving sessions.
And somewhere in the middle of this Venn diagram, there is agreement. Peace on Earth. Goodwill towards men. Santa Claus. Zealot or heathen, we can all get down with these Yuletide trademarks.
But what if this harmony is actually overwhelming our senses, robbing us of the ability to hear the strains of discord? Could this seemingly beautiful concord blind us to the truth? With everyone getting along, giving one another the benefit of the doubt, how would we ever know if the most wonderful time of the year had a sordid past?
Well, we’d have to be visited by the Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future.
Views From The Space-Ship: Christmas Trees and Dark Knights.
Views From The Space-Ship, aka Desktop Tuesdays, aka Desktop Thursdays is a (theoretically) weekly column where I show you my worlds. Share your own in the comments section!
