#Welcome To the Future
Hacker claims to have Mitt Romney’s tax returns, wants $1 MILLI in Bitcoin. The Future, man.
This is the sort of ridiculous stuff that couldn’t have happened thirty years ago or whatever, and for that I am grateful. Bless you, Future. Bless you for your latex porn, your easily accessible music, and your wonky hacking stories.
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Neuroscientists control THE DREAMS of rats. Well f**k me.
We’re flying too high, Icarus! Goodness me. Goddamn neuroscientists all controlling the dreams of mice. Let them step into the dank dark dungeons of my subconscious. I shall deep fry their particles with scatological behavior and vomit play! All while pitching for the Neo-Mars Thunderbars.
HBO streaming content to customers WITHOUT CABLE for first time. In Europe only. F**k.
It would be the tits if I could snag HBO for a fee, without having to pay for fucking cable. I have to imagine it is the wave of the future, only it isn’t here in the United States yet. Such a glorified future is becoming an even more glorious present for Europeans though. They’ll be getting such an offer in October.
Researchers grow HUMAN TISSUE around nanowires and transistors. CYBORG FLESH, ya’ll.
Isn’t much time until Caprica Six is launching nuclear strikes and boning wily, narcissistic scientists. Researchers have found a way to grow human flesh around all sorts of technology. We’re talking nanowires! Pow! We’re talking transistors! Pow! The future isn’t arriving, it is here. Eating out of your refrigerator and casting uncomfortable looks at your Mom’s legs.
REDDIT DONATE is announced, the site continues to grow in wonder.
Welcome to the future! Reddit continues to grow as the front page of the Internet, gaining new capabilities as it continues to level up. The latest addition is “Reddit Donate, a function allowing subreddit moderations to create charitable campaigns rather easily.
Billionaire invests in the development of 3D PRINTED MEAT. WUT. The future is good.
Christ in a can, this is mind boggling. A billionaire dreamer wizard-guy has invested in the development of 3D printed meat. Every day we march closer towards Transmetropolitan and Neuromancer, and I can’t wait to don my mohawk and leather slicker. You know, while eating synthesized buffalo or some shit.
Scientists EXTRACT PRIVATE INFORMATION using off-the-shelf brainware scanners. Good grief.
Welcome to the future, where we can read your mind. We toy with God, and I cannot wait until he decides to smite us. Some scientists have conjured up a way to extract private information from our brains using off-the-shelf brainware gadgets. Sounds bananas. Sounds like Inception but without the painful exposition and boring love story.
Russian all-girl band PUSSY RIOT gets two years in prison for insulting Putin and church.
Every once in a while, even my ungrateful ass appreciates my country. Today is one of those days. It was pretty impressive how Vladimir Putin rigged last year’s elections, and even more impressive how no one around the US gave a shit. This? This is just scary. An all-girl band by the name of Pussy Riot has been sentenced to jail for talking shit about the Ruzzian czar in front of a church.
Video: Scientists model evolution of the Universe using a supercomputer.
Want to see a modeling of the universe using a wunder-computer? Of course you do. Don’t pretend otherwise.
The Oatmeal wants to build a NIKOLA TESLA MUSEUM. Hell to the yes.
In an unsurprising lack of respect for anything that isn’t a president, a deep fried food, or a sports icon, there is no museum for Nikola Tesla in the United States. Wunderkind web site The Oatmeal wants to change that, but it needs our help. And a considerable amount of cash.
