#Weekend Open Bar
Weekend Open Bar: SMASH ENNUI
Hey, friends! How are you? You may have noticed I haven’t been rockin’ and rollin’ around here much lately. And I’ve been off! For two days straight! The fuck, Caff?! Let me level with you: I’m sort of fucking exhausted with the Internet. Clickbait, Buzzword, Non-News, Hype-Piece, Funny Video, Buzzword, Clickbait, Release Date. Blah, blah, blah. My interest comes. And my interest goes. Such is the life of a bi-polar. Right now it’s scraping the bottom of the barrel.
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Weekend Open Bar: Pretty Much A Big Deal
Oh fuck! It’s Friday! Oh fuck! The semester is over! Which means this is a very special edition of Weekend Open Bar, the column where we come together to chat during the weekend. The column where we share our plans, our eats, our gifs, our drunken musings.
Weekend Open Bar: All She Needed Was Some
Holy fucking shit hanging off the cliff-nipple of a monstrous, three-headed Minotaur with a taste for my ass but no respect for the dainty nature of a human being’s sphincter. Is there anything worse than the first fucking week back from a long weekend? The Minotaur and I answer declaratively: no. So thank goodness, it’s Friday. And this is the Weekend Open Bar.
Weekend Open Bar: That Old Time Feeling
FUCK. It’s the weekend, yo. Long weekend at that. Black Friday. Force Awakens day. So the goddamn bar is opening early. We’re keeping the mead flowing all fucking weekend, and I want you sexy bastards gathering around the Open Bar.
Weekend Open Bar: Intergalactic Planetary!!!
A wise man once said, “we all dead, fuck it.” This unwise man once heard those words and thought, “everything is pointless.” No no, I should not have taken it that way. And neither should you. Instead interpret its meaning thusly: time is limited, life is short at best, so spend it with loved ones, doing things you like. As much as possible. Given the grind, given the circumstance, given the chance, given the opportunity. And the Weekend for many is an opportunity to CARPE THIS AFOREMENTIONED DOPE SHIT.
I hope you’ll spend some of your weekend here. At the Open Bar. Communing with like-minded souls. Just trying to get by in this perpetually heating, perpetually diminishing, perpetually beautiful little Blue Orb in Space.
Weekend Open Bar: Of course…But maybe!
Hello, friends. The heat is on, the sky is dark. My belly is full of queso and contentment. It’s the weekend. Let’s all gather here at theOpen Bar and shoot the shit for the next couple of days. ‘Cause if you can suck wind, suck down bandwidth, and take the time to join in this weekly commune…things could be worse. Maybe better? Sure. But maybe worse? Definitely.
Weekend Open Bar: Eat Sleep Conquer Repeat
You’re alive, yo. Day after day you’re telling Death “No” and sauntering on in the Oblivion that is a Godless, Apathetic Existence. There’s something to appreciate in that effort alone. You’re Conquering the Drive to give into Entropy. Someday you’ll stagger, fall, maybe even tap. Don’t take it personally, don’t take it as a slight against your character. Even the Universe is mortal. But for now, while we persist, let’s body slam existence together. Celebrate the Weekend with this Open Bar.
Weekend Open Bar: dodge bullets & deny limitations
Your Flesh Sac will whisper wearingly to you, if you let it. Letting you know that your knees are giving, your rib cage is creaking, and your heart is just sort of fucking tired. Your Flesh Sac will point out the fleeting Liminal Burp that is all your life. Do not listen. Do not believe its lies. It is the only way to sally forth into the resplendent Gloom of Oblivion that awaits us all with your head held high.
(Unless someone decapitates you and raids the Gates of Eternity with your Head on a Pike. There is also that way.)
Weekend Open Bar: Gone Girl Baby Girl Gone Gone
Can I get a fuck yeah?! It’s Friday! Which means it’s time for many, many things. Provided you are one of us proles blessed (and it is more and more becoming a genuine blessing) with having the weekend off. Drinking! TV binging. Maybe some sexy-sex? Reading, gaming. All sorts of shit! And this is Weekend Open Bar! Where we come together. Pop a soda-beer-bottle-of-wine-whiskey, whatever. Share in the revelry of the next two days.
Weekend Open Bar: Let’s Get Weird
It’s the Weekend! That can only mean one thing! Exerting a feigned since of self-autonomy through consumption and reproduction! The Man can’t hold us down! Not as long as we eat shitty food, buy shitty baubles, and consume shitty entertainment they engineer to distract us! Ha! Fuck you, The Man! And as a final, fleeting mechanism for self-actualization, we will gather here in the Weekend Open Bar.
