#Video Games
Boner News: NEXT ‘MASS EFFECT’ IS A SEQUEL. PLUS NEW RACES DETAILED.
Hell yeah. Take this for what it’s worth — I’m taking it to be legit. A fan who was privy to a special meeting at PAX has dropped details regarding the next Mass Effect. And I’m sprung.
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XBOX ONE sells more than 1 MILLION UNITS WORLDWIDE on launch day. XBONIN’ THE HATERS.
I am by no means an Xbone hater. As I’ve said across the various poorly-edited posts on this site, I’ve made my amends with Microsoft. Their recalcitrance giving away to penitence more than mollified my anger. So them doing well on launch day? I ain’t got no beef.
iD Software -cofounder JOHN CARMACK has RESIGNED. So it goes.
John Carmack is a beast. Created the engines that powered Doom, Quake, and countless other games. Dude is also sort of a douchebag. (Read Masters of Doom. Awesome book.) But whatever. The man who Really Hasn’t Made A Good Game In Eons has left the company he helped found. To work on the Oculus Rift.
And shit.
PLAYSTATION 4 sells over 1 MILLION CONSOLES On FIRST DAY. Fastest++
The PlayStation 4 is Sony’s fastest selling console of all time. Moving mad units! Crashing their PSN like a motherfucker. I have to admit that this surprises me. I’ve sort of anticipated that despite all the positive buzz for the console, the XBRO would run over it none the less. It still may. But this is a great start for the company’s new Big Bad.
‘WORLD OF WARCRAFT’ expansions will be ARRIVING FASTER. MORE CONTENT. FOREVER.
How do you stop an admittedly still sizable, but hemorrhaging fanbase from continuing to bleed out? Or at least, slow the flow? You give them more content! Makes sense to me. And it makes sense to Blizzard, too. Despite their next expansion pack not even having dropped yet, the company is already working on the follow-up.
BioWare TEASES next ‘MASS EFFECT.’ MY FANBALLS THROB
Mass Effect. I miss you. Mass Effect. I need you. The thought of slipping you into my PlayBox-4One makes my knees quiver. So when those fuckers at BioWare tease your next installment, even barely tease it, I begin to lose my cool.
‘WARLORDS OF DRAENOR’ = NEXT WOW EXPANSION.
Blizzard has dropped the reveal on the next World of Warcraft expansion. And right when they announced new character models, I began licking their toes like the slavish whore that I am.
Hit the jump for full deets.
GOOD GUY SONY has GOODIES PACK FOR Playstation 4 launch day buyers.
With the PlayStation 4 being only a week away, I’m pretty much frothing at the mouth. And groin. And under my arms. Seriously my arm pits are so sweaty and the drippings taste way more disgusting than usual. Even still, I’m not really sure what I’m doing on launch day. Techno-fetish rubbing of the console? Sure. But what else? Ehhh. Perchance Sony senses my confusion, and they are at least doing a solid by providing launch day buyers with a little goodies pack.
Playing ‘SUPER MARIO 64’ makes YOUR BRAIN BIGGER. YEAH, SCIENCE.
Man. No wonder when I was thirteen I could remember every creature in the Cantina, recite lines from my favorite books, and generally have a more cogent experience drifting through the world. I played Super Mario 64 all fucking day.
‘METAL GEAR SOLID 5: GROUND ZEROES’ dropping in SPRING 2014.
When Kojima and his Espionage Cabal announced that Ground Zeroes was a prologue to MGS5: Phantom Pain, I didn’t realize they meant it literally. Ground Zeroes is dropping next year, by itself, for half the price of a new game.
