#Video Games
‘Bastion’ & ‘Transistor’ senior programmer joins OCULUS.
All Hail The Oculus Brain Drain of 2014. The company that Better Bring Me The Metaverse is continuing to snag up talent from motherfuckers all over the gaming landscape. The latest brain-piece to be vacuumed up into their Monolithic Corpus is the senior programmer behind Bastion and Transistor.
No Comments
‘BATMAN: ARKHAM KNIGHT’ Drops In January, according to Voice of Batman
I’m still mopping up the fluids and chunks of colon after the Batman: Arkham Knight-induced fanboy prostate explosion last week. So when I say I have to tread lightly on this news that the game is dropping in January, it’s only because I don’t want to pull a stitch.
Watch: ‘DREADNOUGHT’ is the Battlestar game we want
I just recently finished Spec Ops: The Line, and found myself wondering what the fuck the team behind it was up to. It was a solid game, with a better-than-average story for a third-person shooter. Well, well, well. It turns out those fuckers are working on a goddamn space-ship game. Replete with giant fucking battles, and giant fucking space-ships. Dreadnoughts, even.
Nintendo Czar-President: TWITCH STREAMING AIN’T FUN. LOLokaybro
Why isn’t the Wii U getting Twitch’s streaming service? The one that zillions of people broadcast themselves on? The one that zillions of people log onto, just to see others playing games? If you buy the Shit Sandwich that is being sold by Nintendo’s Out of Touch Czar, it’s because it ain’t fun.
Sony Cackles: A third of PS4 owners were X360 or Wii owners last gen
Sony ain’t shying away from bragging about their so-far dominance of this current generation. Dropping a hurricanrana factoid like this. Apparently 1/3 of the PS4 install base was an Xbox or NintendoWiWi owner in their previous console-generation-iteration, and didn’t own a PS4.
‘JOURNEY’ composer may get fined $50,000 for working on video games
Ah, the SYSTEM.It’s everywhere. Telling me I can’t go balls-out in McDonald’s. Making shit really complicated for directors in Hollywood. And also apparently fucking strong-arming composers such as Austin Wintory. Ya’ll know him from his work on Journey. Or you’re ignorant. Either way. (I’m ignorant as fuck too, so rest assured you’re in terrible company.)
Cosplay: LARA CROFT looks worse for wear, but ready to rumble
With Rise of the Tomb Raider (I fucking deplore that name tho) revealed at E3, it only seems fitting to drop some Lara Croft cosplay. I’m stoked for the game, I’m stoked for the cosplay, the needle of Diet Dew mainlined to my heart has me prepped for death, and stoked about a lot! Hit the jump for the full shot.
E3 2014: ‘ZELDA WII U’ Gamplay Trailer: Turbo-Boner Nostalgia Hysteria
I don’t even know what the fuck to to say to you if you’re not down with this Zelda Wii-Wii-And-Me-And-U footage. It’s more or less the most taint-glazing batch of fanboy gameplay eroticism that Nintendo has trotted out since the original Super Mario Galaxy reveal in 1932. I say GODDAMN. Deliver me unto 2015.
E3 2014: ‘THE DIVISION’ Trailer & Gameplay Video
Listen, Bethesda. I want to be fucking faithful. I pledged my post-apocalyptic prostate to Fallout and you. You alone! But you’re dragging my ass through the dirt. Do you even care anymore? You don’t call, you won’t write back after I send you those letters filled with my kisses and pubes. And now, now The Division has come along. Can you, can you blame a guy?
