#Miscellaneous
MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE: IN SPACE NO ONE HEARS YOU CREAM
Hello friends! This is Monday Morning Commute, the column where we share what we’re digging on in a given week. I will be honest – I’m currently treating this like a lightning round edition. The real shit is going to have to take place in the comments section. I’m trying to follow all of E3, while attempting to take a shower, jack one out, and plan a class for next week.
With alacrity!
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WAY TO BE A DICK. GOOGLE ADDS NUTRITIONAL INFO to over 1,000 search results.
Google, you big giant fuck. There is no way I need handy reminders of just how fat I am being, okay? If I’m searching “triple cheese burger”, you don’t need to calculate the caloric content of said flesh-beast. And don’t give me that noise about the results only coming up if I search “how many calories are in a triple cheese burger”, because my search is only perfunctory.
NINE INCH NAILS ANNOUNCE NEW ALBUM. ERRBUDDY ANGST NOW.
I typically abstain from covering music here at OL, as I find it pushes the Internet community quickly into hair-pulling and name calling. However, I’m making a special exception for Nine Inch Nails, a band whose importance is great to many of us who contribute to the site. In fact, and while I’m not supposed to mention this, our own Patrick Bateman actually lost his virginity to The Fragile. Yep, that’s right. One wonderful Autumn evening, he galavanted into the woods wearing his WalkMan for a seven-mile run. There a druid spied his overdeveloped abdominal muscles, and offered him a deal he could not turn down. One luscious evening of deep butt interrogation, in exchange for Bateman’s own soul. While the fire has died in his eyes ever since that evening, having sloughed off his eternal soul, Bateman says he would never do it any other different. With equal certainty, he believes that it was Trent Reznor’s overly-orchestrated nonsense that spoke to the druid on a level he never could have conjured on his own.
LISTEN: Official ANTHEM of CALL OF DUTY DOG.
Adam WarRock has hung the official anthem of CALL OF DUTY dog for all of our listening pleasure. S’all good.
TEENAGE RAY BRADBURY hanging out with Marlene Dietrich. Dude had roller-game.
Check out teenage Ray Bradbury hanging out with the famous movie star Marlene Dietrich. The visionary used to hunt down famous people on his roller skates. You can’t make this sort of shit up. Old Uncle Ray with immaculate game. Or creepy stalking tendencies. However you want to cut it.
Cosplay: MAYA from ‘BORDERLANDS 2’ is sultry telekinetic death.
This cosplay will make you say, “Oh My-a!”…”Oh May-a!!”…or shit whatever fucking something like that. Here is a good rendition of my favorite playable character from Borderlands 2.
Grant Morrison explains why SUPERHERO MOVIES aren’t enough. Read the comics.
Grant Morrison has an interesting quote regarding what people will miss should they eschew reading comic books in favor of only watching funny book movies. It’s intriguing, because I have lately been wrestling with my own contempt for the printed formula while simultaneously jacking it to the cinematic flavor. What would I be missing if I got off the comic book Ferris Wheel?
RETRO GAME CLUB #2: The Sweet Taste of EIGHT-BIT Victory
…and now here in the second installment of Retro Game Club, we experience the sweet taste of victory.
‘MAN OF STEEL’ TV SPOT: Prepare to UNLEASH KAL-HELL.
Get it? Kal-Hell? This new TV spot for The Movie of the Summer (you heard it here first) features a rather perturbed lookin’ Superman ready to lay down some whuppings.
Sign me up.
BLANKA BOYZ EPISODE 1: BLOOD DRAGONS & GRAFFITI ARTISTS
Oh shit! The first episode of The Faux Bot’s Blanka Boyz has arrived. Buckle up and prepare for it to fuck your eye-parts with 16-bit-32-bit-64-bit-Something-bit madness! It’s like Everything Is Terrible drained through a sock laced with seminal fluids and Super Nintendo parts.
