#Miscellaneous

Steve Jobs Resigns As CEO Of Apple. Going Full-Time Ninja.

Steve Jobs has resigned as CEO of Apple. This is like Lenin resigning from Communism. What are they going to do without their Cult of Personality? I know what he’s going to do. Go full ninja.

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THIS WEEK ON True Blood: Let’s Get Out Of Here.

It’s impressive how out of touch the writers of True Blood are with their own subtexts. Nothing could have solid their obliviousness better than the puke-inducing monologue that Slutty Sookie delivered to her two panting, devolved meat-sac lovers who wanted nothing more than to explode their cock-missiles all over her stratosphere.

A sultry Sookie drabbed in red lingerie stood center frame. She spoke to the two man, flanked on either side both emotionally and physically by the two other lines in their insufferable love triangle. Then somehow within the confines of a wet dream, Sookie clad in nothing but suggestions of cloth decided to launch into some absurd (in the context) feminist diatribe.

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Loggerhead Turtles Have Internal GPS, Oh Mother Nature <3.

When are we going to begin splicing other animals’ superior traits into our DNA? I want the reflexes of my eight week-old kitten, and apparently I also want the internal GPS of a loggerhead turtle. Mother Nature rules.

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Help Man Launch The Island He Made From 135,000+ Plastic Bottles.

Rishi Sowa has built an island out of plastic bottles. The island, which is actually his third, is built out of more than 135,000 plastic bottles and is getting ready to be launched out to sea from the lagoon it’s currently chilling in. Sowa needs cash money to buy the specifics he needs so the pig can stand the cruel waves of the sea. Like all enterprising (eco) artists, Sowa has turned to the formless, enormous inter-space known as the world wide web for some help.

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THIS WEEK ON True Blood: Spellbound

My friend is gnarling his gnarly teeth on an enormous chicken leg. I’m reclining, staring at the television and thinking about a plethora of pithy pittances. The homework I have to do. The shit I have to take. The porn I’m inevitably going to indulge in. Once or twice. Friend gnashing across flesh. Me, spinning inward into the cosmos of my own inner monologue.

On screen, what was once a Viking Lord and a Gap Toothed Horror are indulging in their thirtieth conversation of this season in which they proclaim that they want nothing but to lie in one another’s arms. They’re floating about a magical frosty fornication forest, replete with snow. As they babble, and babble, and babble, I can’t help but zone out and imagine a time when Eric wasn’t some blathering bitch. Some quivering pile of Nordic Handsomeness reduced to a babbling bonerjam, whose only purpose on the show is to give Sookie yet another cheap momentary bliss. Only to be wrenched away, causing oh the tears to flow, oh the sadness to swallow.

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Breaking Bad: Shotgun

Although this terrific episode ended on a grim note with Walt’s egoism forcing him to suggest to Hank that Heisenberg isn’t dead, this is the first episode in a long time where everyone seemed to get what they want. Skyler got her car wash, slept with Walt, then invites Walt to move back in. That satisfies Skyler, Walt, and Junior. Gus gets Jesse back on track through a sly promotion. And Hank’s interest in Gale’s homicide has given him back his sense of purpose and has brought about some peace in the Schrader household.

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DEFEAT. 044 – Ain’t No Damn Word for It

[DEFEAT. is a   coming-of-death novella. Brian Galiano lends his artistic talents to each episode. the end is nigh.]

There is no tomorrow.
There is no yesterday.
There is only now.
And forever.

Daryl Millar stood outside of the high school gymnasium, peeking in through an open door. He could see that all members of the student body were taking their seats in the bleachers. All those in attendance, anyway. As is the case with any suburban high school, a fair number of burnouts and weasels and academically-uninterested driftabouts made a habit of not attending classes on Fridays. Especially those Fridays peppered with the self-aggrandizements known as pep rallies.

With that being said, the vast majority were present for Daryl Millar’s final stand. And the burnouts and weasels and academically-uninterested driftabouts? They didn’t get too far before they heard about it.

But before this could happen, before the news could spray over the town with the vigor of a severed artery, Daryl would have to wait. For the perfect moment. Otherwise, all would be for naught. An inability to exercise patience could result in the unraveling of his plan altogether.

Which, as Daryl saw it, would be tantamount to an unraveling of the very realities he was hoping to secure.

He watched. He waited. He resisted the urge to run to his friends when he saw them taking their places. 8-Bit, assisted by Riff, hobbled and crutched his way to a seat in the front row. Daryl couldn’t hear what they were saying, but he understood. He figured that they must have met before first block. He gathered that they’d have exchanged details about their last encounters with the third party of the triumvirate.

“Told me to play guitar.”

“Told me to believe in myself.”

Hell, Daryl mused, maybe Vanessa even met with them. Maybe she took my spot during the morning meeting of the minds. Yeah, that…that would make sense. Continuity would be provided. The three of them — the rocker, the gamer, the lover — together to venture guesses. Where was I? Why wasn’t I at the locker? What would I do today? It wouldn’t matter if they left questions unanswered. As long as they came together, in my absence, to ask questions.

That’s all that matters — asking the questions. The rest will fall into place. I’m sure of it.

He couldn’t have hoped for more; Daryl watched as Vanessa entered the gymnasium. She waved farewell to the classmate with whom she had entered, spotted Riff and 8-Bit, and found a spot next to them.

They’re all here. Now, what about my enemy? The Tyrant — where is he?

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Bungie Staffer Pulls Gun, Makes Citizen Arrest. Video Game Training!

Jeff Fletcher is an IT dude from Bungie studios. Home of Master Chief and that secret IP that keeps Halo geeks up in a sweat at night. Fletcher is also a dude who witnessed a shootout between two people and then made a citizen’s arrest.

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Petition Is Circulating To Let Bert and Ernie Get Married. Culture War Incoming.

Here’s a culture war that’s sure to get people all riled up. Throwing down the invective in blog posts, columns, and more. Now that gay marriage is legal in New York City, there’s a petition going around asking for Sesame Street’s Bert and Ernie to be allowed to get married.

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Manipulable Panorama Of Hiroshima After The Bomb Is Desolating, Creepy.

360 Cities has a collection of 360 degree panoramics of photos taken in August, 1945 after the US deonated a nuclear bomb in Hiroshima. Through the power of technology, you can now manipulate these images. It’s creepy.

Hit the jump to check it out.

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