#Space
NASA Downgrades AG5 Asteroid Threat. Only SLIM Chance It Pounds Earth’s Face.
Good news, folks. That sneaky asteroid that we discovered only a half-year ago is probably totally only not really going to maybe not definitely perhaps strike our face.
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NASA and FAA Partnering For New Commercial Space Flight Standards.
NASA and the FAA are teaming up to give us some new commercial space flight standards. All this means to my brain is that we’re getting some serious commercial space flight going.
Former NASA Scientist: FTL May Be Achieved Between Years 2300 and 3000. There Goes My Bucket List.
FTL travel is the holy grail of science-fiction dorks. It is what shall let us venture into the depths of space, colonizing planets and ruining shit outside of our own solar system. Unfortunately, we aren’t anywhere near achieving the son of a bitch, if it’s even possible.
NASA: VOYAGER 1 Has Almost Left Our Solar System. Hell Yeah.
Voyager 1 has been working its way out of our solar system for a long, long, long goddamn time. If calculations by astronomical wizards are correct, it is pretty much there.
EARTH-LIKE Planets More Common Than Thought, Every Star Has Planets. Woah.
Ain’t this a hell of a find. New astronomical wizards have come to the conclusion that every star has planets. Take that factoid, and all of a sudden the possibility of Earth-like planets skyrockets. Or is it spacerockets? Yeah, I know. Groan.
Space: Check Out Thackeray’s Globules, Or The Biggest Dust Bunnies Evar.
Oh, sexy. Check out Thackeray’s Globules. They’re so shiny. And enormous. And something? Not sure where I’m going with this conceit. Anyways, behold interstellar dust clouds, the largest of which are a goddamn light-year wide.
Get Your Ass to Mars: The Mars One Project
If you’re anything like me, you’ve contemplated leaving the planet forever rather than deal with 90% of the mouth breathing mall zombies we happen to share this rock with. When you realize that you’re stuck here, you then begin to wonder how easy it would be just to blow the whole damn place up. Well fret no longer because Mars One is coming up with a solution. Hit the jump for some info and your orientation.
Bradbury Forever.
[Ray Bradbury died today]
I was filching my seventh cup of caffeinated splendor from the coffee machine when a coworker came rushing towards me. He had mustard on his shirt and concern in his eyes. “Hey man, how’re you holding up? You all right?”
After taking a rip of coffee, I proceeded. “Rodrigo, what the hell’re you talkin’ about? Why wouldn’t I be all right?”
“Oh shit, I thought you heard…Dude, Ray Bradbury died.”
“Bwahahaha,” I sprayed coffee all over my dress-pants. “That’s hilarious!
Rodrigo was befuddled. “Hilarious? I thought you’d be upset. Isn’t Bradbury your favorite author?”
“Of course he is! Bradbury straddles the lines between science fiction and fantasy and parable like no other! He’s an avuncular horror-master, a winsome conveyor of the fantastic! Fahrenheit 451! The Illustrated Man! The Martian Chronicles! How could Bradbury not be my favorite?”
“So,” Rodrigo ventured forth cautiously, “you love Ray Bradbury but don’t care that he’s dead?”
I once again found myself struggling to spill the coffee past the bulwark of laughter and into my gullet. Finally successful, I wiped an errant tear streaming down my cheek and broke into a smile. I’d help my coworker understand.
“Ray Bradbury can’t die. When he was twelve years old, Mr. Electrico imbued him with the power to live forever! And now, regardless of what’s happened to his corporeal form, Ray’s going to be with us forever.”
[Ray Bradbury is going to live forever]
Milky Way Galaxy COLLIDING With The Andromeda Galaxy…In 4 Billion Years. Can’t Wait.
I’ve read before about the gnarly collision that is destined between our own home galaxy and that sliding son of a bitch Andromeda. Unfit to let our eventual collision be left as a burden on other homo-martian-neptunians, NASA astronomers have decided to let the world know.
SpaceX Dragon Capsule Returning To Earth Today At 11:44 ET
The SpaceX Dragon Capsule has already given all of his space dorks swollen groins by being the first commercial-thingy to dock with the ISS. Now it is going to return home, collect the roses laid at its feet, and tongue-screw all of our mothers. We are fine with this.
