#Space
SpaceX found says we could have humans on Mars in 12 to 15 years. Bradburyboner.
Hell yes. SpaceX wizard Elon Musk says that human beings could be on Mars in as early as 12 years. This may very well be bluster and nonsense, but who gives a shit. Let me have this, you naysaying bastards.
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Interactive app lefts you explore MARS yourself through Curiosity.
Goddamn amazing. Living on Earth got you down? When we’re not destroying the environment (whether or not you believe in Climate Change, we’re pretty impressive dicks to the Blue Marble), we spend the time fighting one another. Get the fuck to Mars if only virtually through this app that lets you explore the Red Planet through a panorama of Curiosity pictures.
Pow! Two galaxies throwing down in eternal headbutting contest.
These galaxies ain’t getting along. Ain’t getting along at all. The two of them are colliding, in a billions-of-years dance of death. Eventually they will reconcile their differences, to forge an uber-galaxy capable of bodyslamming anything in its way and acting way rude in bars.
LISTEN: Carl Sagan’s message to future explorers of Mars. Sagan is eternal boss mode.
A few months before he died, Uncle Carl recorded a message to the future explorers of Mars. Admittedly, our dumb asses are still too busy caught up in the usual cycle of consumption and warring to get there quite yet. However, yesterday’s landing of Curiosity was quite the fantastique, and has drummed up as good a time as ever to hear Sagan’s message to the future wanderers.
The TARANTULA NEBULA is shiny cosmic web of awesome.
Yeah, yeah. I’ve been slacking on the space porn lately, and for that I fall upon my blade. It pierces the jittery remnants of my heart, propelling me into action. Wait, how can I do that when I’m dead? Guilt motivates the corpses. Powerful agent.
VIDEO of CURIOSITY’S descent onto Mars. Super space bulge.
This video of Curiosity’s descent onto Mars is only stop motion, but it’s a delicious taste of the footage to come. Crank the son of a bitch up to its highest resolution, squint your eyes, and party hard.
NASA’s CURIOSITY rover makes it safely onto Mars. Everyone drink!
I know this is late news in the wunder-deluge that is the internet churn cycle, but fuck it I want to celebrate. NASA’s Curiosity rover has touched down safely on the Red Planet. Fuck yes.
SATURN’S MOON IAPETUS got itself some pretty gnarly avalanches.
You think you’re surfing the gnarly waves of crystallized water stuff here on Erf, brah? Think again. Saturn’s moon Iapetus is where all the legitimate skier people are going. We’re talking avalanches like a mofuckah.’
Monday Morning Commute: Transcender’s First Headache.
Transcender knew he was in for a world of shit.
He’d woken up from his Post-Lunar nap a bit early. Which wasn’t unusual. But rather than waiting for Larissa – the lab assistant with the big smile and bigger bust – to help him out of his pod, he crawled out on his own. Everyone on the Station knew that rule number one is that Transcender was never to be left to his own devices.
Especially after a nap.
Running a hand through his beard, Transcender gazed out the bay window and laughed to himself. “Sweet Man-Jesus, where’ve they sent me now? Is that Saturn? Oh, if Rodrigo could see this, he’d prolapse for sure!”
Had he studied the mission plans as thoroughly as he told Doc he would, Transcender would’ve known that they were far, far past Saturn.
Transcender Yonder’s attention was fully directed out the window, on the satellites and comets he’d soon be smashing to pieces, when a breeze of bitter wonder wafted into his nose. He immediately spun around, balancing best he could while his muscles readjusted to the artificial gravity, and began searching for the source of the smell. Other than his pod, all that was in the room was sterility – medical instruments, monitors, a vacuum.
And, much to Transcender’s delight, a coffee pot.
Fast as he could, the Meta-Man approached the coffee pot, threw back its lid, and poured the contents into unhinged gullet. Having never tasted coffee before, Transcender basked in the wonder of simply experiencing something new. Coffee! Aha! So this is what they drink when they wake up! A fine concoction! Chemically stimulating and socially facilitating!
But then Transcender’s hyper-sensitive neurons kicked into gear.
Larissa walked into the room just in time to see the six-foot-six ubermensch fall to his knees. He clutched at his left eye and screamed, “I have the pressure of a dying star within my skull! Sweet-mammaried Larissa, save me! I beg of you!”
Without hesitation, Larissa picked up the phone on the wall and dialed zero. “Doc? Yeah, it’s me. Looks like he got into the coffee. Yeah, Transcender’s having his first headache.”
Already knowing the answer, Transcender Yonder looked up and asked sheepishly, “Am I in trouble?”
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This is the Monday Morning Commute. I’m going to run through the things I’ll be doing to entertain myself during the week. Then, you hit up the comments section and do the same. Hell, ain’t this the whole damn point of the Internet?
Let’s rock.
Virgin Galactic’s FIRST SPACE TOURISM FLIGHT Launching Next Year. I am Jelly Incarnate.
Goddamn, if I was a millionaire. Next year Virgin Galactic is launching their first space tourism flight, and I’d love to be up on that.
