#Space
JUPITER does us a solid, saves us from potential DEVASTATING impact.
If you’re a space geek like me, then you know that Jupiter is essentially Earth’s bulwark. It saves us from a fair amount of shit that comes floating through the shooting gallery that is our solar system. Recently the Enormous Bastard may have extended this solid yet again.
‘HOT MARS THEORY’ suggests Red Planet never had chance for life. RUINING EVERYTHING.
Rad Bradbury says fuck you!, Hot Mars Theory. Such a theory that is putting forth that our glorious Red Brother never had the chance for life. Pshaw. Plant some trees, exert some cosmic will, and wish for the best.
HUBBLE spots GALAXY that “shouldn’t exist”…we know nothing.
I’m particularly fond of the stories that contain remarks like “shouldn’t exist” or “defies expectations” or “confuses the shit out of people.” It makes me warm knowing that as much progress we make, we are generally still blind mice milling about in a world of confusion. The Universe is still full of wonder.
Stars SCREAM while being eaten by BLACK HOLES. Cold motherf**kers.
Black holes. I already knew they were bad ass. Turns out, they’re the coldest of motherfuckers. Not only do they gobble up stars, but whilst they do so the stars are all “Jesus Christ, stop, stop!” screaming with little dignity and no resignation.
Astronauts fix the space station with a TOOTHBRUSH. Yeah, science! Or something.
Sometimes you just need to rock a toothbrush. Lost your sex toy? Toothbrush. Smelly teeth? Toothbrush. Need to fix a space station? Toothbrush.
The PRAWN NEBULA rocks that fishy cosmic swag.
Relativity in motion, folks. While it is has been dubbed the Prawn Nebula, anything is 250 light-years across gets the nod in my book as fucking enormous. It is all relative. That’s why me and my demur cottage crotch only date people under three feet in height. Relativity.
VOYAGER 1 may not exit the solar system for another 15 years. Well frak.
You can cancel those high-fives, folks. Despite reports last year that Voyager 1 was finally throwing up the deuces to our solar system, new intel suggests we may be looking at a much longer exit timeline. Hope your liver and heart is well, ’cause if you want to be alive for this grand event you may need another decade and a half.
