#Space
This SUPERNOVA REMNANT goes Jiggly Puff.
Goes Jiggly Puff? Hey, I don’t know. How the fuck do you describe a sexy picture of a supernova’s remnant? I got nothing.
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RIDICULOUS: Hubble’s infrared image of the HORSEHEAD NEBULA.
I say goddamn! The Hubble has snapped an image of the rather well-known Horsehead Nebula. However, this picture ain’t like the one you’ve probably seen. This one is even more fucking gorgeous.
Space swoon: The MILKY WAY rises up in the Chilean night sky.
I ain’t never seen the Milky Way rise in the night sky, though if I ever do I am certain I will fall to my knees in space-supplication.
MARS ONE beginning to recruit for ONE-WAY TRIP in July.
If you want to go to Mars so fucking badly that you don’t care if you come back, Mars One may be interested in your ass. Those of us who would rather wander Ares than ever suck air on Earth again will be able to apply for the trip. But wait, there is more! Should you spacefaring ass be chosen, you will then enter into some sort of zany reality show about the colonization of the planet.
GREAT YURI’S GHOST: RUSSIA announces new $50 BILLION space program.
Russia isn’t fucking around, folks. They’re dead set on establishing their Nuclear-Powered Illuminati hub on the surface of Europa. The Kremlin has recently unveiled the plan through which they shall engage such plans, covering up their obvious covert operations underneath the guise of a pretty, pretty, pretty beefy new space program.
MARS ORBITER may have found the Soviet’s MARS 3 LANDER. Cold War heating up, et cetera.
The Mars Orbiter may have found remnants from the Soviet Union’s Mars 3 Lander. Pretty cool. What would be even cooler is if they’d reveal images from the top secret Illuminati Trilateral Commission base on the Red Planet. You know the one I’m talking about. The base that is run by Steve Jobs’ in his cloned body, with terra-forming labor being provided by disappeared teens. That’d be way cooler. Oh well, we will have to settle for “news” about this.
White House says NASA’S NEXT BIG MISSION is capturing an asteroid. Aiiiiiiight.
Watch out, asteroids. Your days of romping about the space neighborhood with unfettered access shall soon be over. Uncle Sam is aiming NASA at its next goal, and it is to capture an asteroid. It ain’t exactly Mars, but….I don’t know. Yay?
Hubble breaks record for FURTHEST SUPERNOVA ever detected.
Hubble has broken its previous record for the furthest supernova explosion ever detected. It’s like, really, really, really far away. Would probably take Superman like three or four days to get there. (And he’s faster than the Flash.)
[Update: No!] VOYAGER 1 has left the SOLAR SYSTEM. We did it!
[Update: It hasn’t. I frigging knew it.]
Voyager 1 has totally left the solar system. This time it is for real. Right? I feel as though I have written nineteen different posts about Voyager 1, and whether or not it has crossed the cosmic Rubicon Now comes a paper that has confirmed the spectacular leap for mankind. We get to keep it this time, right? Please?
MARS CURIOSITY back to active status after two days in ‘safe mode.’ Rise, Rover. Rise!
You can’t keep a Mars Rover down. The little Johnny-5 (that is how I picture it, okay?) has risen out of the ashes of two days of safe mode. Blast it with cosmic rays, it’ll just take a nap for a few days. Now the little nuclear-powered fucker is ready to continue tilling the Red Planet for all of us.
