#Space
SPECULATION: One of Pluto’s Moons (Charon) could have water
Hey man, in a world where our empirical data is constantly challenged, isn’t like *bong rip* everything just speculation, mannn? But yeah. NASA Astronomer Wizards are wondering if there is water on one of Pluto’s moons. Which would be neat. It’d be one more resource the slap-ass dummies who run the world couldn’t get together to harvest. Ah man *bong rip* I gotta keep that PMA.
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Wut: Massive “OCEAN” discovered towards Earth’s core.
Somewhat fittingly, Bateman and I were recently discussing how the Earth was first populated with water. In a state of inebriation, and probable complete incorrectness, I recalled a theory that the Earth was continuously pelted with comets from the Oort Cloud Kupier Belt. Even if I was recounting the theory correctly (and I’m sure I probably wasn’t), a new challenger to that probably-wrong theory has entered the arena!
Watch: Hubble captures STAR EXPLOSION in four-year time-lapse video
Behold the Universe! Regenerating itself! This four-year time lapse video from Hubble shows a pretty killer star explosion. Reminding us that we ain’t show, but that’s okay because we’re part of something rocking.
Sun moodily issued forth GIANT SOLAR FLARES this morning
Sun’s all like. Bro. Your dumb shit blog is dominated by the Electronic Entertainment Expo news. Dumb shit blog. Dumb event. You want news, bro? *Clenches Sun Abdomen and uncorks giant Sun Fart aka Solar Flare* There’s your news.
Report: NASA totally *can’t afford* manned missions to Mars
So like, bummer. NASA has issued forth a report that finds that the agency cannot afford manned missions to Mars. Inflation and all that happy horseshit precludes the Great Journey. But they ain’t giving up, instead asking the U.S. government to up said budget. C’mon, Uncle Sam. Hook it the fuck up.
Astronomers discover “MEGA EARTH” which SHOULDN’T EXIST
Fuckin’ astronomers DON’T KNOW SHIT. But don’t tell them that. Oh, no! One minute they’re decrying my idea that Mars is secretly terraformed, and the Bill Gates-led Illuminati is living on it. LIKE THEY KNOW EVERYTHING. The next minute the fucking ding dongs are announcing that they’ve discovered a Mega Earth. Which shouldn’t exist. according to previously understood Astrono-Theory.
Here’s FOUR GALAXY CLUSTERS getting their SMASH ON
Tired of Star Wars news? Agitated over the Edgar Wright departure? Here’s some perspective, friends. A goddamn gorgeous picture of four fucking galaxy clusters smashing into one another. Remember, we ain’t shit! So, yeah, that pop culture headache really don’t matter in the long run.
SpaceX reveals their “DRAGON V2” spacecraft. Astronaut Ferry A-Go-Go!
Elon Musk has revealed SpaceX’s first manned spacecraft, the Dragon V2. The motherfucker is designed to carry up to seven astronauts to the International Space Station, and hopes to be doing so by 2017.
Jupiter’s “GREAT RED SPOT” is shrinking. Nothing gold can stay.
Jupiter’s Great Red Spot is fucking shrinking! Son of a bitch. That whirling dervish of a storm that’s been rocking since at least 1831 is down to the width of one Earth. How fucking pedestrian.
NASA wants to send PLANET LIFE to Mars in 2020. G’luck.
NASA is fixin’ to send some plant life to the Red Planet in 2020. Listen, sounds cool. Right? But if I know one thing, it’s that the radiation on the planet’s surface is going to mutate this plant life. Create thirty-foot sentient Tree Beasts who will wait. Lurk. Build a tribe. And than annihilate the first humans to arrive. It has been written.
Still though, sort of fun?
