#Movies
Theaters Ripping Off Audiences With Dark Projection. Lazy Turds.
I read about this a couple of days ago, and in a haze of comic books, caffeine, and probably massive amounts of post-semester masturbation, forgot to pass it along to you. Apparently lazy fuckturds at movie theaters are skipping going the extra mile and the result is a fuckload of theaters with unnecessary dark projection.
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Monday Morning Commute: Alien AutoSpy
The American Dream walks among us and we don’t recognize him. He’s not a weepy bootlegger, changing his name and spying on his babe from across Long Island Sound. And he’s not some punk-ass kid running away from Pencey Prep, hoping to bang broads in the big city and failing miserably. And he sure as hell isn’t some over-the-hill salesman who’s hopin’ that his suicide will save his family.
This is the fuckin’ future, so let’s pay it some damn respect. The American Dream is digital – aspirations have been converted to ones and zeros. The collective consciousness is uploaded and downloaded, torrented with the assistance of an Electrical Storm Zeitgeist.
You’re reading MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE, the weekly post where I jabber pseudo-philosophy at you and then show you what I’ll be doing during the week. We all know the drill – the workweek sucks, so let’s find some refuge in the shit that makes us happy. After I detail my plans, you hit up the comments section and share yours. And thus, a dialogue is born.
Let’s do this.
Face of a Franchise: Betty Ross
[face of a franchise presents two individuals that’ve fulfilled the same role. your task — choose the better of the two and defend your choice in the rancor pit that is the comments section]
The Incredible Hulk is one of the most venerated comics characters of all-time, and rightfully so. In one way or another, can’t we all sympathize with the plight of Bruce Banner? A repressed weakling, Banner occasionally allows his frustrations to get the best of him. And when they do, the dude turns into a giant green rage-monster and starts beating the shit out of everything in sight.
Maybe the guy just needs to get laid.
So who’s Banner’s lady of choice? Well it’s Betty Ross, daughter of arch-nemesis General Thaddeus Ross (oh, how naughty!). While countless artists have penciled Betty over the years, she’s most recently been portrayed by two smokin’ Hollywood babes.
In 2003’s Hulk, Betty Ross was played by Jennifer Connelly. The movie was a damn disaster (a movie based on the Hulk should never try to be a psychological thriller) but Connelly was damn gorgeous. Truthfully, I can’t really recall how her acting was in the flick, but she won an Academy Award for her role in Crazy Math-Guy so I’ll assume she rocked.
About five years later, Liv Tyler took the reins for The Incredible Hulk. Tyler, having proven her worth as a half-elf, was more than ready to play Banner’s beauty. This movie was definitely a step in the right direction, and I think it’s fair to give Steven Tyler’s daughter some of the credit.
So, who’s the real Betty Ross? Jennifer Connelly or Liv Tyler?
Official Photo Of Tom Hardy As Bane From ‘The Dark Knight Rises.’ Fap. Fap Hard.
Warner Bros. has released their first official image from ‘The Dark Knight Rises’ and it’s of Tom Hardy as Bane. My erection is so hard that my vision is swimming. The actual image is pretty cool, but what it all suggests though quite obvious – that this movie is fucking real and actually happening – has me losing my shit.
Hit the jump for the official image.
Boat Load of ‘X-Men: First Class’ Promo Pictures; Bras and Mutants.
The world of ‘X-Men: First Class’, where January Jones lounges in a gorgeous bra and panties, and every dude dresses the way you wish you did. I can’t wait.
Hit the jump for a shit load of pictures.
Teaser Poster for Nacho Vigalondo’s EXTRATERRESTRIAL
One of the most original and exciting sci-fi flicks of the past five years was directed by a man named Nacho. I speak of 2007’s Timecrimes and finally, after four years, Nacho Vigalondo is returning with Extraterrestrial. The first teaser poster is here and it has us asking “WTF is up with the tennis ball?”
FRIGHT NIGHT Remake Double Play: First Trailer and a Look at David Tennant As Peter Vincent
The first trailer for the Fright Night remake is here and it’s like watching the entire movie. Interestingly enough, the trailer shows everything except David Tennant as Criss Angel-ish illusionist Peter Vincent and Evil Ed turning into a vampire. Evil Ed’s final scene in the original always made me cry 🙁
Check Out Bruce Willis In Johnson’s ‘Looper.’
Us here in the Den of Omega are big fans of both Rian Johnson and science fiction. The fact that they’re coming together in ‘Looper’ has us a bit erect. So while it’s typically not worth pumping one out over a single promo picture, I’m pretty stoked for this shot of Bruce Willis in said sci-fi flick.
Check out the big piggy after the break.
Restored ‘Trip To The Moon’ by Méliès To Debut At Cannes. Awesome.
A restored cut of ‘Trip To The Moon’ is making its own trip to the the Cannes film festival this year. My only lament? They’re stripping it of its silent film glory with some fucking soundtrack.
‘X-Men: First Class’ Clip Features Shapeshifting And Nuclear Tension.
One of the things I really haven’t contemplated but am now excited by is the fact that X-Men: First Class takes place during the Cold War. Fucking dope, yo! As somewhat of a Cold War obsessive, I love how everything in this clip is predicated around the concept of espionage and nuclear tension. Oh, and hot ass blue chicks transforming.
Win, win, win!
