It’s fitting that the dude who plays E on Entourage wants to make a Kimbo Slice movie. Few things suck as much as Entourage, but Kimbo Slice’s fighting career is one of them.

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[face of a franchise presents individuals that’ve fulfilled the same role. your task — choose the champion and defend your choice in the rancor pit that is the comments section]

It took seventeen years for Prince’s prophecy to be refuted, but when 1999 hit there was plenty to party about. For one thing, the Internet was finally delivering porno at a rate that could compete with that of our constantly evolving fetishes. And mercifully, Disney’s Doug was slaughtered after besmirching the brand that had flourished for years on Nickelodeon.

But most worthy of celebration was 1999’s slew of cinematic masterpieces.

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The Green Lantern sucks. The good news is that even the people making the mistake and seeing the movie are doing so in 2D. And the Harry Potter peoples, who are awash with glee over the final installment and buying advance tickets? Also getting those tickets primarily in 2D.

Thank goodness.

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I saw Green Lantern last night. It’s a bad movie. Like, real bad. I hold the unfortunate culpability of dragging along my girlfriend and another couple to the theater, and costing them hard earned bucks. Despite what you may think, I at even mid-week I still held out hope that this movie would be passable. To the point of inviting other people alone. By Friday afternoon I knew that I was in fact an asshole. By Friday evening after the movie I felt a certain sense of guilty.

This movie fucking stunk. This shit stank with the power of a thousand dog craps baked in the muggy Boston air.

For those of you who intelligently pointed out a while ago that it was going to suck, I tip my cap. Should have listened.

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The final trailer for Harry Potter has dropped. Weird to type this words. Despite not getting emotionally involved in any of the movies since Phoenix, the trailer moved me into a ball of excitement for the finale. I loved the books, but I’ve felt disconnected more and more with each adaptation hitting the screen.

Here’s hoping.

Hit the jump for the trailer.

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If you like baseball, you know about Moneyball, the book by Michael Lewis about Billy Beane. There’s been a movie based on the book in the works for a while now, and our own Patrick Cooper gave me the heads-up on the trailer. I fucking love it. It’s got the Sexiest Man Alive, on-base percentages, and a little bit of the old human drama.

Hit the jump to check it out.

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Who am I to get all high and mighty about a comic book movie being fucking dumb! I disagree sir. When Caff-Pow! isn’t excited for a flick, you know it’s bad news. Fuck Green Lantern, man. I’m going to see it because I’m part of the problem, but I ain’t excited. The Onion in this video perfectly captures the ‘uh sure, I’m seeing it. ‘Cause uh stuff.’ vibe surrounding the flick. It’s awesome.

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Russell Crowe is in talks to play Jor-El. If he lands the gig, this movie may fucking rock in spite of Zack Snyder directing it. A cast so filthy is has to be a great movie. Right? Right?

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When I think Christmas tales, I think of revenge flicks taking place on slave plantations across the south. Thankfully The  Weinstein Company agrees with me.

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There is some super-news-rumor time today regarding the next Tarantino flick. While it was thought that Will Smith may be the male lead in the movie, new news has cropped up. It’s Jamie Foxx time! Oh shit. I was talked into liking Smith in the role, but I definitely love the idea of Foxx. Also and just as exciting is the report that DiCaprio is ‘definitely signed.’

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