Whether they’re sparking controversy or groans, killer kids are all the rage these days. Movies like Kick Ass, Super, Hanna, and most recently God Bless America all feature kids cussing, stabbing, and slaughtering their way into our hearts. For most viewers, these overt attempts at shock fall flaccid. They’re fun characters, but after a while, watching cutthroat kids murder and crack wise gets just as dull as watching grown-ups do the same. Enter Steven Miller’s low-budget crowd-pleaser The Aggression Scale – a breath of fresh air in the killer kiddie realm and one badass survival thriller.

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Either you want to know who Benedict Cumberbatch is playing in Star Trek 2  right now, or you don’t. Should you be desirous, gon’ head and click the link.

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Janet Van Dyne has a rough go of it. Abused by Hank Pym, dying in multiple universes, getting cut out of flicks even as they were beginning to film.

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The final trailer for The Dark Knight Rises  has dropped. You’re not worthy, but you should watch it anyways. Holy *fuck*.

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The wonky Dark Knight Rises  viral campaign had fans unlocking frames of the the trailer. All of them friggin’ things have been unlocked, and compiled by one fan into a really, really, really shitty, silent, super-paced version of the trailer.

Hit the jump to check it out. Or wait. I’d just wait.

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Peter Jackson has jacked into the inter-pipes and responded to the sizzling critiques surrounding how The Hobbit  looks in 48fps. His main point? Patience.

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In 1992 Dave Mustaine welcomed us to tomorrow. To be fair, this presentiment was most likely the product of combining hours of guitar-slingin’ with label deadlines and, of course, heroin. But the man wasn’t wrong. By the end of the 1990s, the world would be altered irrevocably, requiring us to adapt or perish.

A new Allegory of the Cave called The Matrix bullet-timed its way into our collective consciousness, reminding us that its of the utmost importance to wonder about the very nature of reality.   The Internet skulked into our homes, providin’ us with unprecedented access to democracy and porn and free/stolen/whatever music. And then Star Wars fucking died.

Again, Uncle Davey had tried to warn us.

Look around. Grandpa’s got a Bluetooth in his head, the teens use Twitter to goad one another into suicide, and SkyNet has invented a self-driving car in the hopes of obliterating human agency. So how do we survive the hustle in bustle of the post-cybernetic revolution?

We talk about the shit that makes us happy! Welcome to the Monday Morning Commute! This is the spot where I show you how I’ll be entertaining myself into the weekend. Your task is to hit up the comments section and share the wares you’ll be using. It’s really just show-and-tell with typing, but aren’t we all pretty much children these days anyways.

Let’s rock.

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I’m getting a bit of the old motion sickness from whipping my head around following the conflicting Hulky reports. I had just assumed a movie was in the works. Kevin Feige said no. Now some other dude who runs a part of the Marvel Entertainment Kraken is all like “Yeah, prolly”. Someone give me a goddamn answer!

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There’s some Dark Knight Rises  viral campaigning rocketing out of the marketing-anus of WB demanding that we arrest the Batman. If that ain’t enough to grease the taint, there’s some trailer images too.

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Prometheus  is flying underneath the shadow cast by The Avengers  and The Dark Knight Rises, but don’t let that fool you. This trailer is yet another confirmation that there is a good chance this flick is going to be the fucking berries.

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