Stab any sort of ideas about the X-Men movie universe being rebooted. Stab through right through the ball bag with Wolverine’s claws. ‘Cause Hugh Jackman is back for Days of Future Past, inextricably interweaving the Singer Hey Do You Get The Gay Allegory? movies with First Class‘ universe.

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Folks, the film is only getting closer. I can’t wait. Here is the final theatrical trailer.

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Oh, God. Talk about stoking the flames. I want to see Pacific Rim. In fact, I want to see anything from it. I should be careful what I wish for, I suppose. Who knows how I’d react to something as crazy as an actual trailer. You see, a little morsel of goodness has rocketed out of the cave where all the details regarding this movie have been hiding. It has splattered all over my chest, slathering my pectorals in heaving want. Want! Check out this viral footage and ask yourself why it couldn’t be some actual footage. Or realize that it is probably because our souls need to be prepared for the gorgeous Kaiju destruction.

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I don’t have much much in the way of a preamble. There are some other directors out there that I am am loving, but need a bigger sample size. Joss Whedon, Duncan Jones, and Rian Johnson would fall into this category. Anyway, here are my favorite directors.

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Lost in the noise regarding JGL donning Batman’s mantle – possibly – is this white noise eminating out of Zack Snyder’s throat. Homeboy is throwing down about Man of Steel, and how it will tie into DC’s Not Avengers. Normally I’d be breathing hot fart hate, but I quite enjoyed the teaser trailer for the film. Keeping that in mind, while ruminating on the hot groin love of 300, I will try and mitigate my snark.

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I hate this. Hate this! Fuck, fuck, fuck.

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Aiiight. I’m tired of attempting to guess the villain in Star Trek Descent Into Darkness. I spent a good amount of time in my alchemy lab, attempting to brew concoctions consisting of Diet Mountain Dew, powdered energy drink, and arm pit sweat that would allow me to slough the flesh and infiltrate the Abrams compound. These mad ales nearly worked, but every time I got close I would run into a wall around the palace generated by Abrams and Lindelof’s Smugness. A thick, impenetrable wall of self-satisfaction and emo kid glasses. Thus, I relented. You and me must sate our curiosity on morsels like this, the first official plot synopsis for the flick.

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Joseph Gordon-Levitt set pants aflame this summer when he nearly totally donned the mantle at the end of Dark Knight Rises. Almost immediately, people were clamoring for him to continue the franchise. It seemed totally ridic. Fan service! Now however, there is smoke to that rumor. Read the news, then let me know what you think.

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I wonder what sort of chuckle heads groaned and gnashed their teeth to prompt these new assurances about Iron Man 3‘s tone. Marvel Movie Czar Kevin Feige has come out and assured everyone that the movie is totally not serious. As though a serious movie would have been the equivalent of the studio bagging a fart and making us fans drink it deep. So don’t sweat, folks. This movie will be replete with the same haha-funny-time as the first two movies. Oh yeah! And if that information doesn’t give you a tingle, there is a new picture of Iron Patriot after the jump.

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The marketing for this flick is letting it down. I know this before a commercial for it dropped last night during the Patriots’ assassination of the Jets and none of my friends knew anything about the movie. After watching it, they were intrigued, which lets me know there are legions of potentially-interested folk with no idea Killing Them Softly exists. Me? I got a fat chubby for the film. A chubby so tremendous it can only be relieved by mashing my mushroom off my keyboard. It works. But for a moment.

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