Remember that Billy Shakes flick that Whedon cut last year in like nine days? Yeah, here is the trailer for it. Let me know what you think. Me? I’m not really sold. Despite Whedon being quite the heir to Billy’s witty repartee, I’m no feeling the actors in the trailer. Alas! Alack! They don’t pull off the dialogue to my liking. Does this mean I’m going to dismiss the entire endeavor? Naw, I’m still excited. Just a bit cautious, now.

Keep Reading »

Like, we’re all pretty sure that the original Three Star Folk are going to be back for Episode I+IV+III, right? Is this news? Or just another excuse for me to masturbate into the empty shell of my Jar Jar Binks Pepsi can?

Keep Reading »

What’s good? This is a pretty exciting teaser trailer right here, because it features none other than Nicholas Altonaga. You may know him as a friend of the site, or by his beautiful musk. That’s right Nick, I’m in your vents. Engulfing your waft. Anyhoo, this is the aforementioned trailer for Sick. What is the jam about? I’m not quite sure! From the teaser, I know it has mayhem, violence, and mystery wrapped (seemingly?) around a detective story. More than enough for me. Check it out, you turkeys.

Keep Reading »

I’m the token Skyfall masturbator around here, and I don’t give a shit. No one likes it as much as me, and I generally accept their criticisms. Even with them acknowledged, the combination of Daniel Craig whupping ass and Sam Mendes’ gorgeous visuals had me sprung. So, it is with a heavy heart that I read this dispiriting news.

Now go bring in Christopher Nolan, MGM. Do it.

Keep Reading »

Truth be told, I’m at work. Our wireless is horrid. I cannot watch this trailer. Throwing it up here until I can throw up with excitement later. Let me know what you think.

Keep Reading »

Goddamn! Guardians of the Galaxy is going to take place in space. Did you know that? Seems pretty obvious. Still, it strikes me as a bit of a risk. Expensive-ass space movie starring characters pretty much no one knows? Marvel is rolling their nuts around in the honey when it comes to Guardians of the Galaxy. The only question is whether they shall be glazed in glory, or if fire ants will latch onto their financial risk. Oh yeah! And did you know that Captain America 2: LOL You Didn’t Know Bucky Lives? is going to be a political thriller?

All that and more, within!

Keep Reading »

Apparently Stanley Kubrick’s dream project was one centered around Napoleon. Displaying my ignorance, I will cop to having had no goddamn idea about this. Well, Uncle Steve knew about this project. And armed with this knowledge, the Gracious Alien (c’mon, we all know he is an alien) has taken about developing the project.

Keep Reading »

Christopher Nolan is maybe-apparently in talks to take over stewardship of the Justice League movie. I can sort of swallow that. Taste it on my tongue. What I have a hard time believing, and definitely what I have a hard time figuring out my feelings regarding, is the potential for Bale to once again don the cloak in said film. How does all of this make your nethers feel? Tell me.

Keep Reading »

Sam Raimi is entering the Evil Dead arena once more. Sure the good sir produced the forthcoming remake-reboot-resomething, but this is more legit. He shall begin working on a script this summer with his bro for the fourth movie. Cyeah! I know it has been forever and a fortnight since the last Evil Dead proper, yet that has not dashed my excitement for the project. I mean, it can’t be any worse than Peter Parker jazz dancing or some shit. Right?

Keep Reading »

Things that were awesome in Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man Trilogy: not Kirsten Dunst. Well, she’s gone! Been replaced! Here is a look at Shailene Woodley as MJ, though like…It’s not really a good look. It’s pretty much just her walking around the set. Does that count? It does now, you swine!

Keep Reading »