[images & words is the comic book pick-of-the-week at OL. equal parts review and diatribe, the post highlights the most memorable/infuriating/entertaining book released that wednesday]

Historically, the Fantastic Four has never been my favorite superhero team.

As a young child, I was all about the motherfuckin’ X-Men. Outsiders who help humanity by using the very attributes they’re castigated for having? Ill. Later, I realized that the pantheon known as the JLA was my top choice. Maybe it’s because I’ve been agnostic nearly my entire life, but the convening of these pseudo-gods is appealing in a way that that other team-ups just can’t recreate. In a thousand years, I’m sure incredulous youths will ask their trusted adults, “Wait — these people didn’t really believe in a Wonder Woman or Green Lantern, did they?”

We sure did, Billy. We sure did.

Anyways, back to my point: up until recently, I haven’t given much of a damn about the Fantastic Four. Sure, I liked all the individual characters (especially Ben Grimm) but I just couldn’t get into the group efforts. I was born about sixteen years too late to read a Lee/Kirby production of Marvel’s First Family and as a child of the 1990’s, I routinely saw them being abused.

Witness the horror:

In case you don’t know, that video is forreal. Long story short, it was made simply to secure the movie rights and was never intended to be released. And no, cast & crew were not informed of this minor detail.

But let’s flash forward to 2010 – time has been kind to the Richards/Storm/Grimm squad. The titular book has spent the last year being rocked by such forces as Mark Millar, Bryan Hitch, Dale Eaglesham, amongst others. Characters and stories that can easily deteriorate into lame-ass nerd fodder have been remodeled, crafted into entities that are both heartwarming and throught-provoking.

Fortunately, this week’s release of Fantastic Four #580 sees writer Jonathan Hickman and penciler Neil Edwards perpetuate this wonderful trend.

Over the course of the last few issues, Hickman has been bringing a grand story to a controlled, well-calculated apex. Valeria, the younger Richard child, was visited by a future-incarnation of her older brother who forewarned her about an impending struggle between four cities. Lo and behold, four different civilizations have since appeared before the Fantastic Family. This is the larger structural frame onto which the monthly stories have been assembled.

But what makes Fantastic Four #580 particularly successful is that the reader doesn’t have to study piles of back issues to understand (or care about) the plot. Within the pages of this comic are two readily accessible stories. Intertwining, they offer two glimpses at the same familial unit.

In the first plotline, Johnny Storm takes his nephew Franklin and a mutant friend to a toy store for the new Impossible Man merchandise. In order to sell more action figures, Impossible Man shapeshifts into what is a hilarious parody; a combination of characteristics of both Martian Manhunter and Superman. But it’s not long before the Human Torch realizes that Impossible Man is being manipulated by Arcade, who is trying to turn a profit while murdering children. A battle ensues and the good guys finish on top.

The second embedded tale is of Reed Richards’ search for a brighter tomorrow. Acknowledging that he may be too far rooted in his ways, Dr. Richards assembles the Future Foundation — a group of children from different species that have taken refuge in the Baxter Building, as well as his daughter Valeria. He asks them to come up with an initial project, and they undertake the task of curing Ben Grimm’s orange-rock complexion. As babes with fresh perspectives, the members of the Foundation come up with a potential solution.

As with previous issues, Fantastic Four #580 also includes a two-page interlude that chronicles the future of Nu-Earth. Shit seems kooky, but it’s all building to something. Hell, it’s even been confirmed that the team will look different come September.

I don’t blame you if you’ve never been a fan of the Fantastic Four. They have been…well, fucking dorky. But this is the time to start reading, I assure you. Reed isn’t an introverted loser, he’s a genius with incredible insight. Sue isn’t some invisible wench, she’s a peacemaker. Ben Grimm isn’t just an orange rock man, he’s an orange rock man with a heart of gold. And Johnny Storm…well, he’s still a brash shit-talker, but with an urbanity that enthralls.

I didn’t do this comic justice. Go support the dying print medium and buy Fantastic Four #580.

Ohhhh shit! DC Comics came out today and announced they were going fucking digital:

via comics alliance:

The current plan is to put an issue of Neil Gaiman’s “Sandman” online a week at Comixology, along with adding over one hundred issues of other DC titles a month to their digital library. Releases for the launch include perennial fan-faves like “Batman: Hush,” “Fables,” and “Planetary,” and alongside the release of archive material there will will be day and date digital releases of “Justice League: Generation Lost,” a currently ongoing series.

The digital revolution shall not be uh…covered in paper mediums! But no, this is really interesting to me. As someone who is clinging on to the vestiges of print media with a fury, as comic book publishers continue to sweeten the pot for reluctant nerds, it becomes harder to deny. I mean, the big deal here is the announcement of day and date release, which means that you can pick up Justice League: Generation Lost on your iPad the day it drops in stores.

I’m still denying, but it’s harder.

Nothing can supplant the enjoyment of going down to the local comic book store, talking to the owner and fellow fans and making an experience out of it. Sorry, DC Comics. And I hope it never will. There’s something enjoyable about basking in a community. As opposed to you know, staring at a sterile download bar in my iTunes.

Hopefully the tactile enjoyment and the process of buying comic books is as important to other comic book nerds as it is to me. Otherwise, we may be in for a league of hurt. I almost cringe for the owners of my local shop.

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[click to enlarge]

To commemorate the release of All-Star Superman’s Absolute edition this Fall, Frank Quitely pimped out a new cover. Saving for my own selfish posterity.

Variant Covers: guaranteed to aggrandize superpowers, outside the pants underwear, and splash pages. I spent a lot of last week catching up on the ridiculous backlog of comic books that I hadn’t touched in a while. And I remembered something: good god damn, I fucking love comic books. Seems a bit obvious, dunnit? Alas. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed with the concept of ingesting the funny mags that I forget that at the core of them are the same tireless themes that I could read ad nauseam. Aristotle rocked out in the Poetics stating that not only do us wacky monkeys with self-awareness love narrative, but we can never get full, and we seem to gravitate towards the same concepts over and over again.

I think the dude is on to something. I’ve watched Magneto get his ass owned so many times, and yet his ironic struggle towards fascism born out of his own oppression still gets me. Bravo Aristotle, we may keep you around yet.

Superman #700
Superman turns 700 this week. Good lord, that’s a lot of dialogue bubbles. Superman hits its 700th issue, and of course, like every comic that hooks a something-hundredth milestone, the issue is packed to the brim with stories, artists, blah, blah blah.

I’m bored with Superman. And I love him. That’s the tragedy really. Everyone seems to dog on the dude, and even I, who loves the guy, can’t stand him. 700 issues. Let’s do something new with him. J. Michael is coming aboard with #701, and I’m hoping he uses it as a springboard towards something new.

Maybe I’m alone in this, but can we stop jerking off a 32 year-old movie? Am I the only one who is tired of seeing Clark Kent/Superman drawn to reflect Reeves? There’s so much homage paid to it, that it feels creatively stifling to me. I’ll take Kingdom Come’s Superman, or All Star-Superman, or Superman: For All Season’s depiction of the Man of Steel any day. I get it – we all love Reeves. It’s fantastic. But I prefer the beefy bumbling Clark Kent as a farm boy to the sexy grin of Reeves as Superman that Gary Frank loves penciling.

It isn’t about a disrespect for the movie, it’s about turning the page.

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Elsewhere in the DC Universe:
I’ve spent a good amount of time masturbating to Batman: The Return of Bruce Wayne, and perhaps its because it does everything that Superman doesn’t do in comics today: something new. The third issue comes out this week, and if it is as ballin’ as the first two, I’m fucking sold. As well, the newest issue of Green Lantern Corps is coming out, and you can get your sexy magician fix in Zatanna #2.

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[images & words is the comic book pick-of-the-week at OL. equal parts review and diatribe, the post highlights the most memorable/infuriating/entertaining book released that wednesday]

For the second time in less than a week, Jonah Hex’s ugly mug has popped up on OL. I assure you, the decision to give Jonah Hex the weekly comics spotlight isn’t rooted in the fact that I tried to pimp out a promotion for the movie. (By the way, if you are still interested, the contest is still on! Rock a submission and get free stuff!). No, this issue has been deemed the best collection of panels and prose, the most bang-for-your-buck on the racks.

For the first time since its inception, Images & Words is proud to present a Western!

[Cue this shit up]

With your first glimpse at the cover, you know this comic means business. The always fantastic Darwyn Cooke offers an interpretation of Hex that draws heavily on Clint Eastwood’s most infamous character. Of course, he then disfigures Eastwood’s beautiful face, adding the scarring for which the titular character is best known. Cooke also presents his artistic license in adding a heart to Jonah Hex’s shirt; cleverly, this shape is actually a hole in the fabric, which can either suggest that he has no heart at all or that he has one but it is empty.

Looking to spruce up an apartment on the cheap? Buy Jonah Hex #56 and toss the cover on a wall. Your friends will think it’s super kawaii.

But if you like reading comic books, you’re still in luck! In fact, this issue offers two self-contained shorts — a welcome change considering the fact that most comics are incomplete sections of storylines that stretch over months. Any time that the format is fiddled with, I can’t help but allot some points. Fuck it, I have no qualms about rewarding novelty, a running against the grain that helps open minds. Two stories? I’m sold.

Fortunately, both of the tales presented in Jonah Hex #56 are rad.

In the More than Enough, we first see Jonah Hex’s loyalty being purchased by an elderly Native American trying to retain ownership of her land. Then, J. Hex’s services are sold to the three neighbors harassing the old woman. It’s impossible to figure out where the antihero’s morals lay, which is far more preferable for such a figure. I assure you, the resolution is just and ironic

First True Love takes the reader through a crash course of Jonah Hex’s history. His time being raised within an Apache tribe is chronicled, as are his first trials and tender sentiments. We see a potentially blameless youth crafted into a dark, cynical gun-for-hire. Love, in a number of forms, is given and then taken away. And at the conclusion, we see what happens when a man who has spent his entire existence fighting for his life and watching people die is threatened by hapless fools.

Jonah Hex kicks ass. Writers Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti know how to take the archetypal Western-antihero and then succeed purely in terms of narrative execution.   The team proves that well-worn character-types don’t have to be boring, but sloppy storytelling usually makes them so.

Everyone should read this comic book — whether they are dead or alive.

Yeah, welcome to Variant Covers! I’ve been slacking like a fucking asshole. I have a thick ass stack of stretchy-limbs, sociopaths, mutants and blind dudes with nunchucks to catch up with. Float me this week and I’ll float your boat. Instead of previewing what is coming out this week, I’m going to give you the lowdown on the shit I heartily recommend you check out, if not follow with an insatiable ass-lust.

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Choker:
Choker is the demented love child of Blade Runner and super-vulgarity. It’s super profane, super gritty, superly super. It’s a detective story at the peak of expletive-laden blood-soaked awesomeness.

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Daredevil:
Daredevil. Oh, do I love thee. One man’s internal struggle with his demons made literal, as the bro attempts to control the Hand. This is going to end in tears. Or maybe it already has. Like I’ve said, I haven’t read the latest issue. Inorite? Fuck me.

—-

Fantastic Four:
Jonathan Hickman is fucking fantastic. Puns ahoy! But seriously. I don’t read enough comic books that can intertwine the intergalactic with the heart. Or really, I don’t read any besides this.

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[via comics alliance: click images to enlarge]

I’m already pretty stoked for Matt Fraction and Pasqual Ferry to be taking over Thor this September. And now I’m geeking out Viking-stylee over the new mini-series Thor: For Asgard by Robert Rodi and Simone Bianchi also dropping in September. Why? Jesus Christ, look at Simone Bianchi’s pencils. They’re like getting eye-fucked and loving it. Thor’s hammer of justice is crushing you, and you’re going to love it.

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Jonah Hex is a comics bad ass. He’s a cowboy macabre, an anti-hero that walks not with the law of the land but the law of his conscience. A man of the Wild West, Hex has found himself dealing with thieves, Natives, jailbirds and the goddamn Civil War. Hell, he was even initiated into the Black Lanterns!

Needless to say, dude’s been around the block.

Other than his adventures, Hex is probably best known for his face…or lack thereof. Maybe it was an Apache attack. Maybe he was double-crossed. Or maybe he should’ve used ProActiv and now has to deal with pesky pockmarks. In any case, he’s got a face that only a mother could love.

And that’s where you come in.

To celebrate the release of the Jonah Hex movie (June 18^th), OL is teaming up with the good folks at 43KixBoston. The first five readers to email us photos of themselves doing their best Jonah Hex impressions will win prize packs for the movie. So put on a grimace, toss on a cowboy hat, throw up your best finger-gun, maybe spread some mulch on your face, and send those photos in! Make sure you put “Jonah Hex Contest” in the subject line and include your address in the body so that we can hook up the swag!

We’ll announce the winners by posting their photos right here on OL! Free stuff and exposure on the `Net? It’s almost too good to be true!

Send submissions here: [email protected]

And again, many thanks to 43KixBoston for sponsoring this contest!

http://www.Twitter.com/43kixboston
http://www.facebook.com/43kixboston

[images & words is the comic book pick-of-the-week at OL. equal parts review and diatribe, the post highlights the most memorable/infuriating/entertaining book released that wednesday]

COWBOY NINJA VIKING has finally made its triumphant return! I caught wind of this series back in early April and have been eagerly anticipating this sixth issue ever since. Fortunately, the wait has paid off as the comic delivers.

Plot-wise, the reader follows Duncan as he struggles with two different dilemmas. Stemming from the turmoil of daily life, most readers will be able to relate to the first of these predicaments; being torn between two lovers. On one hand, the protagonist is quite interested in Grear as he and her “have industrial amounts of sex that’s like, porn star awesome.” On the other hand, Duncan finds Nix “God-damn alluring in a completely non-threatening manner, which makes [him] incapable of forming coherent thoughts…” With the skill of an excellent TV drama, COWBOY NINJA VIKING takes the reader through the process of selecting a mate.

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Variant Covers is the only weekly comic book column to feature headlines featuring puke covered boobs! Welcome to all ye enter, and I sure hope you’ve got a good taste for the depraved. Here at Variant Covers I give a run down of the comic books I’m excited for, catch my eye, or seem hilariously rotten in a given week.

Astonishing X-Men: Xenogenesis #2
The second issue of the most ridiculously named X-Title ever is arriving on shelves this week covered in puke, tits, and sociopolitical commentary. While I didn’t dig Warren Ellis’ first run on Astonishing X-Men that much, I really got into the first issue of Astonishing X-Men: Xenogenesis Fun Pukey Time. The storyline is centered around an African village that is giving birth to particularly mutant-looking children. The whole OMFG stems from the fact that once Scarlett Witch went all fucking insaneo and banished mutants from the Earth, ain’t none been born. Let alone the fact that generally muties manifest around puberty. Because you know, they’re an extended metaphor for adolescent longing as well as commentary on ostracized ethnic and cultural groups.

So shit is going down! What I really enjoy about the title is how Ellis manages to float political commentary rather elegantly into the affairs of a bunch of latex-bound demi-gods. In the middle of the first issue, Wolverine drops some knowledge bombs about Nelson Mandela that even if you disagree with, are pretty interesting to hear coming out of a mainstream comic book.

It’s a fun romp, and features ridiculous postures and absurd ass and tit shots by Kaare Andrews. And while I’m ultimately a horndog who finds himself aroused on occasion by the curve of inanimate objects, the artwork stems the line between ridiculously sexualized and rousing the inner feminist in me. There’s some sort of line that Andrews is straddling for even the most reluctant readers as myself, and definitely sending more engaged feminists into apoplectic aneurysms.

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Meta 4 #1
Meta 4! Metaphor. See what they did there? This comic comes out this week, and I’m particularly intrigued. I hadn’t read about it, but while skimming the release list this week it caught my eye. Even the title is a metaphor! Intriguing. And then I read the plot description which seems trippy enough to at least try out the first issue:

An amnesiac astronaut is helped by Gasolina, a muscular woman who dresses up as Santa all year round. As they travel New York City for one man’s answers of self, it becomes an expedition to overcome barriers that stand between us and a recognition of our inner selves.

Too bizarre to pass up for me. I have the feeling that the comic book is either going to be a refreshing exploration of metaphors and life through metaphor, or really just a pretentious bunch of hogwash. I’m hoping it is dope as fuck. If you stop and ponder how essential metaphors are to not only understanding and communicating with one another, but also as means to make sense of the world, the idea of the comic books pretty cool. Metaphors layered upon metaphors! I know, I’m a lame-ass literature nerd.

Mea culpa, mea culpa.

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