After I punch out on December 23^rd, I’m going to have the luxury of not returning to work for ten days. By my calculations, that’s nearly a week and a half. Do you know many comics will be read, movies watched, beers imbibed, and high-fives delivered in that time? Certainly enough to keep my face smile-plastered and spirit sky-bound.

Needless to say, I’m champing at the bit.

But alas, I must first survive a treacherous two-week stint of work. Additionally, these workweeks happen to fall on the end of the month, which is always the most hectic time around the `ole office. Tack on the various projects I’ve undertaken, and I’m bound to be one busy little prole-monkey rummaging about the engine room of Spaceship Earth’s compartment of Consumer-Cultures.

Fortunately, the Omnidimensional Creator has been kind enough to allow me to guide you through the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE! Join me as I display the various bits of art and mind-rot I’ll be using to prevent a total mental meltdown. After you feast your eyes on what I’ll be entertaining myself with, hit up the comments section and share your ideas of a fun time.

Okay, hide the women and children — it’s time to summon the Entertainment Daemons!

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[Is there a better way to celebrate the manger-birth of a superpowered messiah-baby than watching television? Hell no! Join Rendar Frankenstein as he navigates Spaceship OL through the Televised Days of Christmas!]

It wasn’t so long ago that nerds were persecuted.

Comic books were reading material for basement-dwelling losers, not source material for Hollywood blockbusters. Television’s scientific community consisted of children’s entertainers like Mr. Wizard and Bill Nye, not prime-time warriors like Leonard and Sheldon. Glasses were for the vision impaired, not the svelte-as-fuck.

Needless to say, these were dark days for all nerds.

But there is something to be said for those who can survive in the face of relentless persecution. Despite being spat upon, these individuals have the spiritual fortitude to take a stand, championing causes that’re unpopular but virtuous. They resist the temptation to cave into the herd mentality, and sometimes they even manage to help others in the process.

Family Matters‘ Steve Urkel is one such hero.

And perhaps the most festive of his heroic deeds can be found in Christmas Is Where the Heart Is.

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[Is there a better way to celebrate the manger-birth of a superpowered messiah-baby than watching television? Hell no! Join Rendar Frankenstein as he navigates Spaceship OL through the Televised Days of Christmas!]

“Ho! Ho! Ho!”

Didja hear that? Didja?! I think it was Santa Claus giving us an early warning of the impending holiday! Make sure you rush out to the mall so that you can buy a Tamagotchi Angel for Cousin Jeffie and a Furby for Sister Lillian! Hurry! You don’t want to miss the sales! Go!

Actually, don’t.

Instead, why don’t you join the OL crew as we begin our trek through the finest Televised Days of Christmas? We’re going to peer into the vacuum-tubed past of yuletide greetings, the glowing memories of peace on Earth and goodwill towards men. Pour yourself a mugful of frothy eggnog, toss on your favorite ugly sweater, and plant your ass on the closest ottoman.

Tonight is not just any night – it’s The Night of the Meek.

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Ahoy!`Tis Saturday nite and as such the drinks are freely flowin’ at the Mos Eisley Cantina. Figrin D’an is tearing shit up with his Modal Nodes, inspiring muthafuckahs to hit the dance floor and gyrate their gential-areas together. Backdoor deals are being made so that terrorist-farmhands can blow up expensive government buildings.   And droids still aren’t being served.

If Omega-Level were a patron of the Mos Eisley Cantina, it’d be a smooth-talkin’ Corellian whose language of choice is credits.

But since we have the benefit of residing on the lovely blue planet known as Earth, there’s no chance of snagging space-brews from Wuher. Instead, I must head to the liquor-merchant and choose a potable on my own. Without an interstellar racist to guide me, I’m liable to choose all sorts of kooky concoctions.

As such, tonight I’m drinking Innis & Gunn Rum Cask.

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I’m tired and cranky and hungry. The pile of work on my desk is increasing at an exponential rate. My gums are bleeding. How’s my breathing? Belabored. All I want to do is lay down for the night and wake up tomorrow. Know what I can’t do until I finish about seven different projects? Lay down for the night and wake up tomorrow.

Goddamn do I hate Mondays.

But I’d be a liar to imply that I don’t have a soft spot for the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE, OL‘s weekly show-and-tell feature. Here’s how it works: I’m going to give you a guided tour of my demented mind, steering you away from the Freudian nightmares and towards the entertainment wet-dreams. After scoping out the monsters lurking in my brain-bone, it’s your duty to hit up the comments section and show off the wares you’ll be using to survive the workweek.

C’mon, you think we’re afraid of the 9-5? You think we can’t survive the daily grind? Bring it on! FLAME ON!

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Living in the Boston area, I know what a she-bitch Winter can be. Sure, she shows up to the party with brisk breezes and picturesque snow-dustings. But before you even have a chance to buy a new ice scraper, the frozen hoe is dropping blizzards on your ass and stampin’ all over your Raynaud’s-addled digits.

Remember, Winter is not your friend. She’s not even your friend’s friend. All she wants is to see you suffer the ice-prickled sting of seasonal blue balls.

Fortunately, there are ways of curbing the blow delivered by the Time of the Taiga. Take hockey, for instance. This sport is not unlike an astrophysicist who was raised ferally by   a pack of abusive lycanthropes, succeeding in spite of a terrible formative environment.

Is hockey the only worthwhile wintertime activity? Hell no. There’s also beer drinkin’.

The folks at Vermont’s Magic Hat Brewing Company understand the protective qualities of intoxicating libations. How do I of   know this? Well, I’ve sipped on Howl.

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Welcome to the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE, OL’s celebration of escaping workweek ennui with comics and movies and video juegos and other such godsends. As can be inferred from the name, this feature is posted on the first day of the week. Usually. Sometimes, when work is too overwhelming and the pile on my desk is more difficult to navigate, the MMC drops on Tuesday.

And then there’s weeks like this one.

I could blather on and on about my work woes, computer problems, and persistent bone-pains, but I think I’d rather show off some of the bits of entertainment that’re going to keep me from washing my wrists with a razor. Life’s great, so let’s deliver stress a fun-time uppercut to the ballbag!

Let’s go!

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I love sequels.

After all, what’s better than getting to revisit   the worlds that’ve inspired us? The first voyage to these lands sees us falling in love, realizing we’re being changed irrevocably, and then making lifetime commitments.   But the subsequent trek? Well, that’s the honeymoon, with garters torn asunder and bed frames busted in half.

That’s not to say that all successors are worthy additions to a franchise. Many aren’t. And some are goddamn abominations. But those sequels that fire on all cylinders? Magic.

The Empire Strikes Back. The Godfather Part II. Die Hard with a Vengeance. Ghostbusters II. Aliens. Terminator II. Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey. Predator II. Temple of Doom. The Two Towers. Army of Darkness. The Dark Knight.

You get the point.

Today, I’m applying my love for sequels to my penchant for Friday beer-drankin’. Instead of guzzling any run-of-the-mill, first go-around brew, I’m sippin’ on the third member of a veritable beer franchise.

Today, I’m drinking Fade to Black Volume 3: Pepper Porter.

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Happy Thanksgiving, children and men and babes of the Omega-verse. I know it’s corny, but I kind of like the `ole giving thanks thing. Ya know, sittin’ round the table in the fellowship of friends and family, and letting them know that there are aspects of existence for which we’re appreciative.

So let’s do that. Hit up the comments section and share what you’re actually thankful for this year.

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