Friday Brew Review: Howl

Living in the Boston area, I know what a she-bitch Winter can be. Sure, she shows up to the party with brisk breezes and picturesque snow-dustings. But before you even have a chance to buy a new ice scraper, the frozen hoe is dropping blizzards on your ass and stampin’ all over your Raynaud’s-addled digits.

Remember, Winter is not your friend. She’s not even your friend’s friend. All she wants is to see you suffer the ice-prickled sting of seasonal blue balls.

Fortunately, there are ways of curbing the blow delivered by the Time of the Taiga. Take hockey, for instance. This sport is not unlike an astrophysicist who was raised ferally by   a pack of abusive lycanthropes, succeeding in spite of a terrible formative environment.

Is hockey the only worthwhile wintertime activity? Hell no. There’s also beer drinkin’.

The folks at Vermont’s Magic Hat Brewing Company understand the protective qualities of intoxicating libations. How do I of   know this? Well, I’ve sipped on Howl.

Howl is the winter brew that’s branded as the “Black as the Night Lager.” Further, it is suggested that something macabre may lurk within the glass confines of each bottle. The brewery implies that it has immured pure liquid evil by adorning its website with grim poetry:

Born of dark, cold and snow in the MARROW of the Northeast’s longest night, HOWL comes in on WAILING winds with winter-weary eyes, burning holes in sunless shadows. In its darkened depths our inner voids are WARMED.

HOWL will remain until your bones are thawed, your spirit is freed…and until there is no longer a NEED…

As a Literature major, Poe-lovin’ dweebie, beer-drinker, and general appreciator of hyperbole, I just couldn’t resist Howl‘s charm.

The lager was poured into a standard glass and it settled into a dark shade of night. The brew isn’t pitch black, as it allows for some light to pass through, but it’s still visually alluring. Additionally, a thin crest of foam appeared at the top of the glass, but it dissipated before making much of an impression.

When I sniffed at the mouth of my glass, I detected an aroma that was sweet and robust. To my infantile nose, Howl smelled like a combination of bread, roasted nuts, coffee, and a pinch of chocolate. This was certainly a brew worth smelling, and for that I was appreciative.

There was only one thing left to do – drink.

Upon consumption, I discovered that the lager satisfied my beer-palate, which craves a healthy dose of the cabalistic. The bottle of Howl that I drank contained veritable gauntlet, showcasing a spectrum of flavors that hinted at coffee, caramel, and light fruit. Hell, I think that I even picked up on a smidge of smokiness, such as what one would experience when standing downwind from the last dying embers of what was once a raging inferno.

Taste-wise, this is a thoroughly enjoyable beer.

However, I can’t neglect to mention the mouthfeel, which was a bit underwhelming. The carbonation was light, injecting an appropriate amount of bubbly-wonder into the drinking experience. To reiterate, the concoction was quite drinkable. But for a product that is marketed as being “black as the night,” I felt that Howl was a bit too watery, sloshing around my mouth with too much ease to be taken seriously.

When I think of porters and stouts, I conjure up memories of being full after a single pint, enjoying a quality of craft over a quantity.

The unfortunate reality is that Howl just isn’t weighty enough.

With that being said, I still think that Magic Hat has created a beer that is perfect drinkin’-fodder for those cold nights when Winter comes a’knockin’. If you have the willpower, don’t let her in. If you do let her in, make sure that she’ll let you watch the Bruins/Canadiens game. And if you’re fortunate enough, nurse a few bottles of Howl so that the blue balls she’s bound to give you don’t ache quite so much.

The grade: B