#Caffeine Powered
Weekend Open Bar: under a blood red God
God does not care if I jerk off, eat pizza, jerk off while eating pizza. I’ve explicitly asked it for permission while I did both activities. Paws filled with pizza sauce, and people sauce, and a ragged smile. God, I said. Do I have permission for this? No word. Jack, jack, eat, jack. God, I said. Are you busy? I have trouble with the fact that I’m tortured by the past and terrified of the future. No word. Jack, jack, eat, jack. God, I said. Are you busy? I have trouble with the fact that I’m in a rotting meat-case on a rotting planet, and frankly I think it’s a race to the finish line between the two of us. No word. No word. Jack, jack, eat, jack.
Citizens of OL, I say. Are you busy? It’s the weekend and I want to hang out with all of you. Click click, clack clack of the keyboard. Citizens of OL, I say. Are you busy? It’s the weekend and I want you to share everything you’re reading, eating, playing, seeing, experiencing with me. Click click, clack clack of the keyboard.
God, I said. Are you busy? Citizens of OL, I say. Are you busy? Jack, jack, eat, jack. Click click, clack clack of the keyboard.
God, Citizens, let’s spend some time together.
This is Weekend Open Bar.
Tom Cruise returning for ‘Mission: Impossible 6’, Xenu Bless Him
The fourth Mission: Impossible was a fun movie. The fifth Mission: Impossible was a fun movie. So, let’s keep the fucking Fun Movie Train Going. Viva la Cruise, viva la his Thetan Levels.
Tom Holland teases ‘Spider-Man: Homecoming’ goes to Avengers HQ
Man. Straight-up cinematic integration these days. Tom Holland is teasing that Spider-Man: Homecoming heads to Avengers HQ. Presumably, I assume-ably, to talk with Horatio Stark.
Interplay sells off Earthworm Jim, Descent, Kingpin
Interplay is selling off the rights to several franchises, but most importantly: Interplay is selling off the rights to Earthworm Jim. If there is a God (there isn’t), and if it will respond to my wishes thanks to my supplicatory pyres of pubes, empty Dew bottles, and used underwear (it won’t), then the rights to Earthworm Jim will land at a talented developer. A talented developer that will resurrect a childhood favorite-series.
‘Rogue One: A Star Wars Story’ gets New Composer a Mere Three Months before Release
Rogue One reshoots have been so extensive, and pushed the schedule back so much, that the film’s original composer no longer could fit the film into their schedule. That’s okay, though, cause the film has landed Michael Giacchino. You know, Star Trek guy. LOST dude. Incredibles composer.
‘Avengers: Infinity War’ Set Photo: Behold Josh Brolin’s (Motion Capture Suit) Thanos!
The Russo Brothers have shared a picture from the set of Avengers: Infinity War, featuring Thanos. Or, at least, it features Josh Brolin wearing a motion capture suit, daring us to imagine the Big Purple Fuck in his place.
Confirmed: ‘Wolverine 3’ Villain is Mr. Sinister
Mr. Sinister is going to be all up in the plot of Wolverine 3, making (Old Man) Logan’s life hell.
‘Pacific Rim 2’ casts Cailee Spaeny as its female lead
I don’t know Cailee Spaeny, but I sure do know my excitement for Pacific Rim. Fucking Moses-Finn-Boyega? Fucking Daredevil showrunner helming the project? Sign me up, and add me to the mailing list. I’m in.
Margot Robbie officially Executive Producing a Harley Quinn movie
I fucking hated Suicide Squad. I fucking hated its portrayal of Harley Quinn. That said, I am unrepentant in my fanboy love for the visual aesthetic Robbie cut as Quinn, and thus I’m excited about a movie starring the character. That’s ideally better than Suicide Squad. Much, much better.
