#August2012
Hold the phone, it is Jennifer Lawrence’s birthday.
The following is probably a work of fiction.
It is Jennifer Lawrence’s birthday. National holiday. I knew that Jennifer Lawrence would love me right from the get-go. Now, don’t call this a coincidence, because you’re jealous. The first time, I swear the first time I saw The Hunger Games she winked at me. Right at me! This isn’t an optical illusion. Right as she is climbing into that little pod-tube thing to writhe about for a tepid forty minutes in a death match, she winked.
4 Comments »
‘BUTCHER BAKER: THE RIGHTEOUS MAKER’ has ended. Dammit. I weep ultraviolent super sexualized tears.
No sooner do I get my rocks off celebrating the release of a new issue of Butcher Baker: Righteous Maker does news arrive that the comic book has been canceled. It wasn’t just canceled all peacefully like, either. Son of a bitch has become the center of an imbroglio between the two creators.
DAVID CRONENBERG calls ‘THE DARK KNIGHT’ movies boring, verbally impales the genre.
Well shit. You have to hand it to David Cronenberg. Dude isn’t afraid to come out of the gate spitting hot fire everywhere, mercilessly mowing down pop culture sacred cows. Even though I disagree with the dude, fuck it. He has earned his place in my heart, and even if I disagree I have to respect the man’s musings.
Advertisement for ‘AVENGERS’ movie in Japan is pure American shit talking.
I suppose this is one way to get a nation talking about a movie. Nothing more American than rudely rubbing our bloated, sweaty, confrontational balls all over a foreign country’s culture. Yeehaw!
Buy These F**king Comics! – August 15, 2012: Sextillion can’t handle Butcher Baker! Dude rolls hard.
Wednesday. The delicious oasis in the middle of the weekly grind. Deliver us from 9-5. Deliver us from Cubicles. Deliver us in the form of weekly sequential artwork. Laser beams. Righteous makers. Providing just enough escape to slog through the last two days. This here is Buy These F**king Comics!, the column where we share the various titles we’re excited for on a given week. This column is powered by audience interaction, so if you see my poor taste and me abstaining from mentioning a title, throw it into the ring. Sharing is caring.
Don’t know what is arriving on shelves? Hit up Comic List. It’s cool. We’ll wait.
Read the rest of this entry »
The Dude’s High 5s: Holidays!
I hate August. It is my least favorite month. It’s hot, it’s sticky, and worst of all, no holidays. There’s no prebuilt excuse to engage in revelry. So while we find ourselves in the center of this horrid month, let’s look fondly towards days of celebration. You’ll notice a distinct lack of gift giving holidays on my list. Some people think it’s because I hate fun. Other people guess it’s because I was hatched a fully formed adult and have never been a wide-eyed child, anxiously awaiting treats. My response to those claims is that they are false. It’s because I hate the bullshit pretense that is built around them, especially when I am in no way affiliated with the religion that spawned them. Also I have no family. I will never stop hating the pretense built into gift giving holidays, but if I did have a family, I’d suck it up and deal with it for them.
Brian K. Vaughan raps on the potential money in creator-owned comics.
Brian K. Vaughan has recently been getting his proselytizing on. The co-creator of the goddamn glorious Saga has opened up about the potential money to be made in creator-owned comics. Certainly he speaks from a perch of rampant success and fame, but he raises some good points. I’m personally glad the dude and Staples are crushing it over at Image, and I silently pray Saga gets optioned for a flick just so Staples and him can get the riches they deserve.
US appeals court says “F**K YEAH!’ to warrantless phone GPS tracking. I frown.
I’m going to need to double-down on my secret skulking as the nighttime vigilante, Balls Out. You can guess my super power. The Man has ruled in favor of warrantless phone GPS tracking, and god knows I need my iPhone’s GPS to Yelp my dinner stops throughout the night. Fighting crime burns mad kcals.
Turn living plants into multitouch interfaces. Controlling computers with plants. THE FUTURE IS GOOD.
This just seems like the sort of silly shit I’d make up early in the morning, ripped on grease and caffeine. The future is here, it just ain’t evenly distributed. The words of my hero Billy Gibson. Well, shit. If anyone is looking for some of that excess future being hoarded, check out this ridiculousness.
Dude finishes building his FULL SCALE NOAH’S ARK. Extravagant survivalism.
Shit, man. If I was a millionaire, I wouldn’t be building arks. I would be…Well, I’d probably still be blogging and just worrying a lot less about the bills. Buying my friends like so many bags of Gummi Bears. Dutch millionaire Johann Huibers doesn’t share my swagger. Dude is building his own Noah’s Ark.
