Today is Friday. As such, I’m drinkin’ beer. And while I normally use this weekly inebriatory-ritual to seek out potions by breweries foreign, enticing, and sometimes entirely alien to my palate, today’s beer-drankin’ is goin’ to be an exception.

After all, I’d be remiss to not follow the advice of my good friend Grandeur Faex.

Grandeur Faex was a dude I used to work with at the post office. He was older than my grandfather but still alive, drunker than my dad but twice as strong, and funnier than my brother but more diseased. Mostly venereal. Also, he regularly made claims that he came from a utopia-future in which sex was currency and everyone was a millionaire.

Truth.

With these credentials, it’s not hard to believe that Grandeur proved to be an indispensable dispenser of advice. One afternoon, upon noticing that I wasn’t sorting mail with my usual panache, the old pervert wrapped his arm around my shoulder and began spouting out some words of wisdom. Totally unsolicited, of course – but I always open to getting some guidance from a self-proclaimed time-traveler and state-proclaimed maniac.

“M’boy, you ain’t got no soul today! Bones? Guts? Fat sack of shit in your gut? Sure. But no soul! You done broked, huh?”

I look at him and laughed. “Yeah, I guess I’m feeling a bit down today.”

“H’ain’t no worries, son!” He matched my chuckle with one of his own, except that his had more black abscesses than teeth. “Lemme give a wordda wisdom – when life gets you down, yagutta go to the stuff that yaknowle makkya happy! Your favorite pop song. Your woman’s bosom. And, most especially, a beer that you trust.”

Finding myself at the end of an incredibly overwhelming workweek, I’ve decided to follow the instructions of Grandeur Faex. Rather than seeking out a beer by a brewery I’ve never heard of, I’m diving into the deep end of my comfort zone. Today, I’m drinking Imperial White from the folks at Sam Adams.

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Let us not postulate any longer! There is no need. This is the official timeline of the Marvel Movie universe. Complete in typical sexy infographical form for us to digest.

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Like your TV? It’s a piece of shit! A carp sandwich. Over in Japan they’re pushing the pace, daring our TVs to not think of themselves are relics. Detritus.

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I ain’t excited for Spider-Man  but I do enjoy Andrew Garfield. And Emma Stone? Goodness me, yes. Here is a clip of the two of them belting out some nonsensical jam about the Spider-Parker with an adorableness that I suspect won’t be found in the film. Haters gon’ hate. I’m a hater.

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Why any trailer features dubstep anymore is beyond me. Even the douchiest of stalwart dubstep  proponents  have to admit that using it in a trailer is played out, refried, shat out, and stomped on. Thankfully for Harley Quinn’s Revenge, its trailer also features some great action courtesy of the Bat-Man and Robin.

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The rumor report is coming! Choo choo! Word on the street is that Cole, Drake, and Snake are confirmed characters for PlayStation: All-Stars Slam Bang Smash. If this is true, it is going to make me think twice about derisively writing off the Super Smash  derivation nightmare.

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Wee! The Sin City Hopes You’re Not Tired Of Its Visual Motif  train continues onward! Into the sky! Into infinity! Into theaters next October! Oh, look at that segue. The touch. The power.

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Ah, the Andromeda Galaxy. It is our nearest galactic buddy in the Local Cluster, and as you can tell from this work of Rock it is quite swanky. Look at it, all a mere 2.5 million light-years away. Taunting us with its splendor.

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As a poor graduate student majoring in literature  (laugh it up, fuzzball), I don’t really understand stock. What I do understand are sexy buzz words like “record breaking”, buzz words that can attract even the fat-skulled such as myself. Them there people are breaking the records? Count me in!

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I hadn’t come across this riffage of Luke Skywalker by Paul Pope for  Star Wars Art: Comics, despite the fact that I’m pretty sure Rendar owns the book. Oh well! Better later than never. God bless The Pope, and that intersection between talented artist and childhood staples.