I usually have a True Blood support group. Every Sunday I watch the show over a friend’s house. I recline into his comfy leather sofa and I prepare myself for what I’m about to watch. I didn’t suffer such a benefit this week. The friend spend the weekend in North Carolina, and the only interaction I had with him was picking him up from the airport.

This was bad news bears. Without my friend, my sponsor if you will, I was adrift. It was up to me to watch it. I have a wandering attention span on the best of days. Without my friend-sponsor-reprimanding influence, I am liable to refresh Facebook and ponder if I want to eat Cheez-Its or take a shower while Billy and Sookie and Viking Guy are prattling on.

It was tough to get through this week’s episode. Real tough.

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You have arrived at the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE — OL’s weekly celebration of fending off bad-vibes with fuzzy-feelings. I’m going to show you which bits of mindrot I’ll be ingesting in the hopes of adding some essence to my existence. After peeking at my goodies, you’re encouraged to hit up the comments section and lay out the modes of escapism you’ll be employing in the upcoming days.

In other words, it’s a game of show-and-tell.

Let’s do this.

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There was rioting over the weekend in London and while I didn’t admit it out loud, I had a fleeting idea I knew what was the cause of it. Fluoride in the drinking water, and a switch flipped by the Illuminati to destabilize the area so the Shadow Government could swoop in. In addition, a London newspaper had an equally insipid idea what caused it. GTA.

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Marvel dropped a couple of promo pictures for upcoming November titles. First off they have the relaunching Uncanny X-Men, the image featuring an Emma Frost surprisingly with pants on. Who is on her team? Looks like Juggs and Magneto at the very least. Where’s Scott?! Gone to join his Flame Haired Beauty? And then there’s “4”, lead by Hickman and Pacheco. Torch coming back already? Eh? I love the Foundation. We’ll see.

Hit the jump for the promos.

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Pluto was downgraded to a dwarf planet, and everyone cried. Do not lament to hard. For not only was Pluto not the only dwarf planet when the Cosmic Canine was removed from planetary status, but now it may be getting even more friends. Discoveries abound!

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Reality > fiction. Kim Jong-il of all people has a crack team of hackers farming for gold in Lineage. Which they are then, of course, flipping for some real hard cash. Astounding. Outstanding. Something-ing.

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Showing my age here. Domino’s had a mascot way back in the day called the Noid. I remember this because I was little and he was something of an animated clay homunculus who sold my young brain on the idea of eating pizza. As well, I played a good amount of ‘Yo Noid!’, the video game based off of him by Capcom. By fucking Capcom. This week the Noid is back, and so is a video game featuring him. It’s all on Domino’s Facebook page, and my nostalgia is bringing me into a weepy state.

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Saved By The Bell taught me a lot of things in life. Namely that life is perfect if you’re a wily high school student named Zack Morris, capable of synthesizing a Breakfast Club-esque allotment of dorks, jocks, nerds, and jocks. How did that actual alchemy occur? This imagined Saved By The Bell video game takes a stab at simulating it.

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Earlier today the Syrian Ministry of Defense’s website displayed a message from Anonymous. Perhaps I don’t follow the hacktivist group closely enough, but this seems like their most bold move yet. It’s one thing to mess with a corporation, but I can’t imagine the stupidity/balls to bring down a government website and replace it with a rambling regarding tyranny.

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[face of a franchise presents two individuals that’ve fulfilled the same role. your task — choose the better of the two and defend your choice in the rancor pit that is the comments section]

If you fancy heavy metal, chances are that you probably like Black Sabbath. While crafting some of metal’s most recognizable tunes, England’s metal pioneers also established many of the genre’s time-tested motifs – an affinity for the occult, dark fantasies realized, and the systemic abuse by those in positions of power. Also, Tony Iommi proved that you don’t need fingertips to shred.

In short, Black Sabbath kicks ass.

But this begs the question – which Sabbath singer reigns supreme?

For the band’s first eleven years, Ozzy Osbourne fronted Black Sabbath. Before becoming a whack-job reality-television pawn of his evil wife, Ozzy was a metal-messiah. The dude crooned his way onto Sabbath’s seminal records, got booted from the band, and then continued setting dangerous precedents in a solo career that helped push Randy Rhoads into infamous realms. Although he’s a self-parody now, there’s no denyin’ that Ozzy is an icon inside and outside of the metal-world.

After Ozzy was ousted, Ronnie James Dio was brought into the fold and sang on the next two Sabbath albums, Heaven and Hell and Mob Rules (he also rejoined the group for 1992’s Dehumanizer). While Dio isn’t as well-known as Ozzy in the world of pop-culture, true metal-maniacs know of his glory. Between stints in Rainbow, Elf, Black Sabbath, and his eponymous group, Dio carved a name for himself in metal history. And hell, his inclusion in Heaven and Hell pretty much confirmed that Iommi’d rather work with him than Ozzy.

Which sucks, cause Dio passed away in 2010.

So, who do you prefer – Ozzy or Dio? Is Ozzy the better frontman but Dio the better singer? Does Dio get points for popularizing the horns? Who has the better solo career? Let’s see where the dust settles on this one!

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