Team Ninja has dropped the beginning cinematic for Metroid: Other M that features “the birth of Samus”. Now, this is cool unto itself, but it is even cooler that said birth is appreciably similar to one of my favorite movie of all time’s ending, 2001: A Space Odyssey.

Are you pumped for Metroid: Other M? No? Then you’re a douchebag. Sry! Team Ninja’s crack at Metroid looks like seven-thousand flavors of awesome. And if you’re wondering what awesome tastes like? Like your favorite sexpot covered in caffeine syrup. Or at least, that’s what it tastes like for me.

Hit the jump and check out the trailer. And be excited. B-e excited.

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Inception, man. It continues to approach. Like some sort of ominous, albeit welcomed Asteroid of Awesome. A rock of rocking. I need it. Today Pepsibones today casually said “Oh hey, isn’t there some movie coming out this week?” and it took my best restraint to not flip out and play along.

What I said: Oh uh yeah, Conception or something?

What I was thinking: DUDE HOLY SHIT FOUR DAYS.

Sometimes, and unannounced, I exert some sort of self-control. It is fleeting and I’m sure I was back to talking about sexual acts and body parts at the dinner table in mere moments.

Super pumped time.

Monday Morning Commute. Every Monday I’m going to detail the various things I’m either currently or will be watching, reading, playing, and listening to in the next seven days. It’s Monday. You’ve got a long week of school, work, or compulsive masturbation to get through. Tell me the arts that you’re indulging in, to stave off suicide.

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I’m extremely fucking stoked for Vanquish. The shit is the first game from Shinji Mikami, creator of Resident Evil, and executive producer of pretty much everything awesome and Capcom: Devil May Cry, Dino Crisis, Viewtiful Joe, and the SNES version of Aladdin. This is his first game for Platnium Games, the studio that brought us Bayonetta. If you were within the OL halls last spring, you’d know that I like Bayonetta. A smidge. And after finding out last week we’re getting the game this year!, the only thing that could make me more excited is praise from over gaming heroes of mine. Well, here we go!

via destructoid:

Insomniac Games loves Vanquish, apparently, with one developer calling its “Gears of War on crack.” Three staffers named Platinum Games’ exciting cover-based shooter as they favorite E3 title, and considering how awesome it is, I can hardly blame them!

“It’s a brilliant technical showpiece from the creator of the original Resident Evil and the director of Resident Evil 4 — my favorite game of all time,” says community specialist Paul Featherstone. “It plays like Gears of War on crack and looks absolutely gorgeous.

“Platinum is knocking it out of the park after Bayonetta — hopefully we will see more frequent high-quality releases from them in the next few years.”

Hell to the yes. I want me some super-psycho, over-the-top, Gears of War on crack. Yes please.

[legend has it that Ernest Hemingway wrote a six-word story to win a bar bet — For sale: baby shoes, never worn. leading to the author’s birthday, I’m going to offer a daily post of my own six-word story. readers are encouraged to respond with their own]

They forgot a stamp. He died.

[photo]

Over the weekend, it was announced that Edward Norton was not gonna be Brucey Banner no more. It was all totally contentious.

Marvel talked shit:

via slashfilm:

Our decision [to recast the role] is definitely not one based on monetary factors, but instead rooted in the need for an actor who embodies the creativity and collaborative spirit of our other talented cast members.

Then Edward Norton’s agent fired back:

via slashfilm:

Here are the facts:   two months ago, Kevin called me and said he wanted Edward to reprise the role of Bruce Banner in The Avengers.   He told me it would be his fantasy to bring Edward on stage with the rest of the cast at ComiCon and make it the event of the convention.   When I said that Edward was definitely open to this idea, Kevin was very excited and we agreed that Edward should meet with Joss Whedon to discuss the project.   Edward and Joss had a very good meeting (confirmed by Feige to me) at which Edward said he was enthusiastic at the prospect of being a part of the ensemble cast.   Marvel subsequently made him a financial offer to be in the film and both sides started negotiating in good faith.   This past Wednesday, after several weeks of civil, uncontentious discussions, but before we had come to terms on a deal, a representative from Marvel called to say they had decided to go in another direction with the part.   This seemed to us to be a financial decision but, whatever the case, it is completely their prerogative, and we accepted their decision with no hard feelings.

And what should have been a quiet weekend letting nerds like me jack off in peace turned into something interesting. I’m pretty bummed that Eddie is out. He’s one of my favorite actors, and the idea that I could have seen him and RDJ on screen at the same time was totally invigorating to my southern continent.

Today it came out that Joaquin Phoenix may be the dude to fill Norton’s shoes in the Avengers movie.

via chud:

Reliable sources tell me that Marvel has already put out an offer, and the actor they’ve spoken to is Joaquin Phoenix, believe it or not. Phoenix is taking time to mull over the offer and the bigger implications – Marvel may yet resurrect the Hulk franchise – but Marvel hopes to have him in place by Comic Con, which is when they want to announce their new Bruce Banner.

Shit be percolating for sure. If Norton has to leave, why not cast someone who is bat shit crazy like Joaquin Phoenix? I’m sort of feeling it. Drop your thoughts in the comments box.

One of my more recent obsessions is Moon. Well, uh, by recent? I guess I mean the entirety of 2010. Sam Rockwell’s performance continually rocks the socks off my little piggies. It doesn’t help that the visuals are gorgeous Space Odyssey Sex, and the soundtrack is by the inestimable Clint Mansell.

If you haven’t seen Moon, see it. If you have seen it? Seen it again.

[legend has it that Ernest Hemingway wrote a six-word story to win a bar bet — For sale: baby shoes, never worn. leading to the author’s birthday, I’m going to offer a daily post of my own six-word story. readers are encouraged to respond with their own]

Fame is infamy’s cowardly little brother.

One of the two highlights of my descent into the Great American Yokel last week was finding these beauties at a local Walmart. For just $5, less than a twelve-pack here, I could buy a 24-can cube of Diet Mountain Dew destruction. Amazed at the sight, and drinking away my woes, I simply had to buy two.

Cindel: Don’t you have a star cruiser?

Wicket: Bitch, if I had a star cruiser you think I’d still be on a goddamn forest moon? Fugg that, I’d be getting my drank on in a Coruscant suite.*

*Translation provided by P. Krueger