Source: Comics Alliance

My love for awesome nerdy shoes that I can’t wear because of my mammoth feet is well documented. First there were Bioshock kicks. Then Iron Man sneakers. And now these DC-themed Converse efforts in sexiness that will never fit my enormo-toes.

Hit the jump for the rest of the gorgeous line of shoes.

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Source: Pulphope

Source: Boing Boing

Variant Covers, is at its core, a weekly comic book column. Most weeks are like this one, a round-up of the comic books that I am planning to acquire through galactic credits tomorrow at the local Pictures And Words dealer. Other weeks, the status quo is subsumed by a desire to pontificate on a particular topic. Like Peter Parker and his amazing Non-Progress Adventure. All columns are sponsored by a permanent state of juvenility, and made-up words.

Shall we?

Batman: The Return of Bruce Wayne #4
This is my column, and while I maintain a sense of duty in pleasing others and keeping it fresh, I’m going to go ahead and recommend the latest issue of Bruce Wayne and his righteous riding of the Time Waves. I know that I’ve popped off on this mini-series previously, but I’m sorry.

It’s one of my favorite things dropping every month, and I’ll be god damned if I ain’t excited to read it tomorrow. The latest issue finds Sir Wayne of Forevermore riding the time stream into the wild, wild west. Or is it the wild, wild east? After all, it seems that every time that the Island jumps for him, he ends up in Gotham during Period To Be Determined.

I may be reading it completely incorrectly, there’s always the chance of that.

The series is centered around the essence of Bruce Wayne, and how those essential tropes can carry through the millennium. They’re applicable everywhere. The concepts of symbols as power, great sleuthing, and an undying regret towards being unable to save a loved one (in this case it seems ‘ole Anne Elliot) can work while existing in the realm of Cave Dudes just as well as it came amidst the Red Dead Redemption set.

This shit rocks me like a rock star rocks things.

Spin on that, ya’ll.

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Terraforming ain’t real. Not yet, anyways. Still, that didn’t stop the chaps over at Gizmodo from creating a gorgeous time-lapse video of The Red Planet turning into Our Sister Blue Planet. It’s pure nerd bliss, seeing several familiar fantasies of ours coming to fruition: the aforementioned terraforming, outer-space colonization, and living on Mars.

Hit the jump for the gorgeous video.

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Source: Boing Boing : Click to Enlarge

In a letter from 1956, Arthur C. Clarke, uncannily, predicts both GPS and satellite TV. Bravo, you amazing and forward-thinking son of a bitch.

Behold the Wundercrotch! Wrap it in tinfoil, stick it in front of erotic materials, and within forty-minutes, you’ll have yourself a sticky mess of tinfoil! You say that’s useless?! I say to thee, surely you jest! Why, if it wasn’t for the Wundercrotch, I wouldn’t have been able to wallpaper my dungeon walls with aluminum foil! Such ingenious craftsmanship and plaster holds forever! F-o-r-e-v-e-r.

Monday Morning Commute. Every Monday I’m going to detail the various things I’m either currently or will be watching, reading, playing, and listening to in the next seven days. It’s Monday. You’ve got a long week of school, work, or compulsive masturbation to get through. Tell me the arts that you’re indulging in, to stave off suicide.

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Alright, I’m just going to come out and say that I’ve pretty much given up on ever genuinely enjoying this show like I once did. Perhaps it was a delusion, some sort of apparition or glamouring that tricked me into thinking this show was dope. But at this point, it comes off like a mush of romance and homoerotic tension. And while I am typically a lover of both romance and homoerotic tension, I’m pretty sure that from now on True Blood will be spent counting the time until a real show comes on.

I’ve figured out that this current season can be broken down into three distinct entities.

1. Eric Northman Cock Teases Everyone
King Dandyfuck, or whatever his name is, killed Eric’s dad. Who was a King. And now in a manner to ingratiate himself into the King’s inner circle in an effort to ultimately kill him, he’s begun hitting on him. And King Dandyfuck’s husband. I dug this at first, since I imagined myself being hit on by Eric and I glowed a bit inside. Then it just sort of kept going, and I’m like, alright dude, do something.

But he isn’t content just cock-teasing King Dandyfuck and the king’s typically flamboyant husband. He also spends a good amount of time growling and making comments at Sookie, and then Sookie is like “Roar roar I’ll never forgive you, roar roar, gap-toothed annoyingness.” So Eric walks around a lot in tight-fitting shirts and running his finger up and down people’s stomachs. Every episode. Forever.

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Matt Fraction at w00tstock, ruminating upon the various meanings of comic books. He goes through his childhood experiences with comics, why comic books work as a medium, and how he went about killing a villain when he was first given the chance. This presentation is equal parts hilarious, insightful and entertaining.

If you like comics you must watch this.

[This! Is! Mad Men! recaps the newest developments of Don Draper and his ragtag group of cohorts. In the spirit of the show, it will often be sexist and drunk. Apologies ahead of time.]

Season four of Mad Men has finally arrived! Thank the Maker! I thought this day would never dawn (or is that, Don?), but alas, here we are!

Okay, time for a minor confession — I’ve only recently gotten into AMC’s hit. And by recently, I mean that I watched the first three seasons in a span of about three weeks.   The exploits of Madison Avenue’s finest have captivated me in a way that no show has for about five years. And by captivated, I mean that I’ve spent hours in front of my glowing televisor-box, jamming cereal into my face and drooling over Jon Hamm.

Hey mister, don’t pass that judgment-crud on me! As a teacher, it’s my goddamn right to enjoy the summer any way that I see fit. In a month’s time, I’ll be back to raising your kids for you and weeping. So for the present, I read the books I’m actually interested in and I watch DVDs.

Anyways, the fourth season’s premiere pushes the narrative forward about a year. This time has been quite eventful for Mr. Draper, with long-lasting consequences burrowing their way into all facets of his life.

Professionally, Don has helped launch the new agency (Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce — doesn’t that just sound fantastic?!) into a realm of legitimacy, getting them out of a hotel room and into actual offices. The environment isn’t quite as splendid as it was in years past, but there is a sense that work is being done for the right reasons.

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