Ohhh fucking shit! I got midichlorians coming out of the fucking ass, and I’m ready to rock! A real life lightsaber? With the ability to blind and kill my friends in hot pursuit of amazing Darwin awards? Let’s fucking do this!

via gizmodo:

Built with the blue-laser diode of a dismantled Casio projector, the $200 Spyder III Pro Arctic is the world’s most powerful portable laser. It can permanently blind you and set your skin–or anything else, really–on fire almost instantly.

“With greater power comes the need for greater responsibility.” That’s actually what Wicked Lasers, the mad geniuses behind the Spyder III, wrote to us in an email describing this terrifying piece of technology. They wanted to make one thing very clear: this is not merely a laser pointer, and it’s certainly not a toy. What it is, really, is a weapon.

The diodes in Casio’s new mercury-free Green Slim projectors apparently allow for unprecedentedly powerful portable lasers, and Wicked Lasers has gleefully harvested them for the 1 Watt Spyder III. Comparing it to the $2000 Sonar, the company’s reigning portable laser powerhouse, Wicked Lasers explains that the blue Spyder III laser is 2000 times brighter to the human eye, and, at $200, 1/10th the price.

Grab a couple of pairs, reenact the Empire Strikes Back duel, and leave your friend in the hospital! It sounds like prime local television news fodder! Maim the force me with you!

I’m an American. I didn’t choose to be one, nor do I hate being one. But since my parents boned on this side of the Atlantic, I’m an American. As such, I’m required to uphold certain traditions. I always watch the Superbowl. I gorge on buffalo wings until I can’t stand. And I perpetuate a friendly rivalry with the British.

Ah, England — our kooky sister country right across the pond. The nation has exported so many wonders that have improved the quality of my little vacation on planet Earth. Iron Maiden hails from England. So does Mr. Bean. And Love Actually takes place in London. So there’s more than enough reason for us to be chums.

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Holy fucking shit! I’m still getting people joining in my spanking to Mass Effect 2’s Yeoman Chambers, and next week they may be announcing the final installment in the trilogy? Rly? Srsly? This game is only fucking six months old! I’m not complaining though! I’m feelin’ you, bros! How do we know all this? Why, one handy-dandy leaked FLOOR PLAN:

[via kotaku]

Fuggin’ jawesome, ya’ll. Mass Effect 3 being premiere while my buttlust for the sequel still seeps.

Wolverine’s deep, furious crotch action can only mean one thing! A new fucking Marvel Vs Capcom 3 trailer! This one is a straight-up character teaser. We got Ryu looking butt-hurt, Wolverine with his crotch-groan of fury, Morrigan trying to rub down Iron Man, and other thrilling, exhilarating, creamifying shit going down. Stop listening to me blather. Hit the jump and check out the teaser.

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Joseph Gordon-Levitt is one hell of an actor. 500 Days of Summer? Word. Brick? Double word. GI Joe? TRIPLE.FUCKING.WORD. And this summer he’s in Christopher Nolan’s Inception. But is the dude in Christopher Nolan’s Batman 3? It just might fucking be!

via slashfilm:

First up, Mr. Gordon-Levitt. This comes from Deadline and Movieline sister gossip site Hollywood Life, which claims that JGL has been tapped to play the Riddler in Batman 3. There’s no substantiation to this, and since we don’t even know if the script is finished (fairly certain it is not) it seems too early to call. But JGL is in Christopher Nolan’s Inception, which makes it a lot easier to believe than almost every other Batman 3 rumor we’ve heard;   supposedly the rumor originated in a joke or comment made on the Inception set. And it certainly seems like a good idea.

For what it’s worth, however, JGL’s reps have already denied this, according to The Wrap. So leave it alone for now and wait for the script to be delivered

So it’s already been denied, but fuck, what does that really mean? At the very least it’s intriguing, and gets my pants in a twist. I’d be on board. Quadruple word!

Jonah Hex is a comics bad ass. He’s a cowboy macabre, an anti-hero that walks not with the law of the land but the law of his conscience. A man of the Wild West, Hex has found himself dealing with thieves, Natives, jailbirds and the goddamn Civil War. Hell, he was even initiated into the Black Lanterns!

Needless to say, dude’s been around the block.

Other than his adventures, Hex is probably best known for his face…or lack thereof. Maybe it was an Apache attack. Maybe he was double-crossed. Or maybe he should’ve used ProActiv and now has to deal with pesky pockmarks. In any case, he’s got a face that only a mother could love.

And that’s where you come in.

To celebrate the release of the Jonah Hex movie (June 18^th), OL is teaming up with the good folks at 43KixBoston. The first five readers to email us photos of themselves doing their best Jonah Hex impressions will win prize packs for the movie. So put on a grimace, toss on a cowboy hat, throw up your best finger-gun, maybe spread some mulch on your face, and send those photos in! Make sure you put “Jonah Hex Contest” in the subject line and include your address in the body so that we can hook up the swag!

We’ll announce the winners by posting their photos right here on OL! Free stuff and exposure on the `Net? It’s almost too good to be true!

Send submissions here: [email protected]

And again, many thanks to 43KixBoston for sponsoring this contest!

http://www.Twitter.com/43kixboston
http://www.facebook.com/43kixboston

[via: oh have you seen this?!]

Some peep or group of peeps went through the trouble of animating a stop motion paper Mario running around a classroom for all of our enjoyment. No, seriously. It’s amazing. Old school Mario + nostalgia + talented geeks = community win!

Bonzai, motherfucker!

The mothership has connected, welcome aboard! You’re floating on the funktastic bubblepop fantasia known as Galaxy Omega. Here on Omega we got some rules we abide by: love shit, funk out, if you got a booty pop it. And trust me, we all got booties worthy of poppin’.

With a little bass groove, ain’t no thang. Ain’t no troubles. Slide them beautiful fingers along the frets, ya’ll. Smile. Here on the mothership we eat ice cream and occasionally spit out soda in the middle of uncontrollable laughter. We also give up the funk.

One time, and we don’t speak of it often, a fight broke out on Planet Omega. It was settled within the hour. Decided by Mario Kart 64, Special Cup. Whoever took the most points at the end of the circuit was decidedly in the correct. We also don’t speak of how the piece of shit blue shells in the middle of the deciding bout almost started another fight. We mustn’t mention that. Mother would be mad.

It’s scientifically known that Krang is a fucking bad ass. So when I came across this today at Comics Alliance, I unleashed the secret of the ooze in my pants.

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