#August2016

Report: Nintendo NX getting Mario and Pokemon games in its Launch Window

why-iwata-won-t-put-mario-or-zelda-on-playstation-and-xbox-1100462

What I learned today: a “launch window” is a six-month period after a console launches. What I learned today: the Nintendo NX is getting both Mario and Pokemon titles within its launch window. What I learned today: shit maybe I’ll be getting a Nintendo NX.

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Art: “Badass Mario” ready to suplex the bejesus out of Bowser and his minions

Watch: Mario remade in Unreal Engine 4 is uncanny, gorgeous, uncomfortable

We’ve come a long way baby, #FatBoySlim, whatever.

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Nintendo developing mobile games! with DeNA, also tease new hardware

Shigeru Miyamoto.

Nintendo is partnering with DeNA to develop mobile games. The fuck: it ain’t going to be porting nothing, just creating new content. They also teased new hardware, codenamed “NX.” The fuck: I just bought a fucking Wii U!

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Butcher Billy mashes up MARIO with SID & NANCY for gorgeous ANARCHY

BUTCHER BILLY BACK IN THE FUCKING HOUSE.

Fuck yeah! The new Butcher Billy jam is here, and this time he is taking his talents to anarchy. The pop-cultural remixing maestro has exorcised the glimmer of the Mushroom Kingdom from Mario’s soul, replacing the sheen with a gritty Sid & Nancy vibe. The winners? All of us.

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BOWSER is PEACHY [Inky Charland]

Bowser

Need that perfect Valentine’s Day gift?  How about matching Bowser and Peach tattoos.  Fellas, nothing says I love you like ghosts, fireballs, and castles.  Ladies, there’s nothing that gets out fires lit like old 8-bit nostalgia.

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Watch: Super Mario Bros. 1-1 recreated in ‘MINECRAFT.’ Oh, that game.

I don’t get you, Minecraft. But I want to. Oh, I so do. I don’t get how someone created Super Mario Bros. 1-1 within your walls, but that doesn’t matter. It is still damn impressive.

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Press Start: Nintendo Hamburger Hangover

Nintendo are keen on poking the bear this week. For the purposes of this metaphor I shall be playing the bear and the poking stick is represented by the recent glut of Wii U announcements. They’re poking me into a fevered state where I suddenly find myself compelled to pre-order a brand new console and then feel dirty about it afterwards. I have some genuine soul-searching to do.

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NINTENDO Showing MARIO Game For the ‘Wii U’ At E3

Nintendo is going to launch their next console sensibly, which is to say with a Mario game. They’ll be showing it at this year’s E3, and I totally can’t wait. Okay, I can wait. Can you?

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CONGRATULATIONS! You’ve reached the end of the internet!

If you were expecting anything other than Ron Jeremy dressed as Mario, sorry to disappoint.

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