Another year, another Call of Duty. This newest one is reportedly by Infinity Ward, and subtitled Ghosts. Makes sense, since IW has been on that every-other-year grind for a while, and Ghosts is nice and mysterious.
Hit the jump for more.
The Next Xbox is being revealed on May 21. There are unconfirmed reports I’m going to dress up like Bill Gates and jack off into a blender filled with Xbox hardware. As I watch, it’ll hurl tech-shrapnel deep into my guts. I will orgasm.
Great fucking idea right here. Take some classic video games, take some esoteric video games, and incorporate them into real life photographs. Hit the jump for a look.
Well, shit. I certainly didn’t see this coming. It ain’t Fallout 4, and for that I’m going to rope-a-dope by balls with a frozen sirloin steak. It is what must be done. It ain’t the end of the world, though. Shinji Mikami. Bethesda. I’ll take it.
Back in the day, Sega didn’t give a fuck. It was high on cocaine and blast processing, throwing money at men, women, and new console iterations. One of those iterations that never saw the light of day was the Pluto, a Sega Saturn with built-in online capabilities. ‘Cause that used to be special. Now a prototype of this little pig has hit the internet.
Last time I posted about the possibility that the new Xbox will be always-on, more than one person pointed out what a dangerous roll of the dice this would be. You know, always-on games and always-on consoles are two beasts. How many people would Microsoft lose out on, from this policy alone? And what would the risks be? Look at the fucking SimCity debacle. So I was convinced that it probably wasn’t going to happen. Now? Now I am not so sure.
Bethesda is hiring for an unannounced next-gen game. If I had my druthers, I would bet that it is Fallout 5: New Tokyo, starring Vin Diesel. Perhaps fortunately I am broke, and so those who are smart enough to take me up on that bet are incapable of doing so.
Good news, folks. If a creator you either particularly like or disdain has erred, you can help them. If they have spiraled into a fatal descent of bloated promises, you can help pop their delusional packaging and drag them into reality. All you need to do is create a Twitter account and relentlessly savage them.
This is a bit shocking to me. Folks, there has been a separation of unfathomable gaming magnitude. I never thought I’d see the day that Dude Huge would leave Epic Games. Dude went together with them like Miyamoto and Nintendo, Kojima and Konami. Up is down, left is right. Dorks with really honest replicas of Lancers are unknowing who to get to sign them. This is pandemonium.
Want to turn your room into a 3D environment used for gaming? Fuck you! Didn’t you learn anything from Bradbury’s The Veldt? For those of you unwashed automatons, your dreams could be coming true. Yes, yes. Give into the wave of complacency. Moreso than usual, obviously.