I don’t even know what the fuck to to say to you if you’re not down with this Zelda Wii-Wii-And-Me-And-U footage. It’s more or less the most taint-glazing batch of fanboy gameplay eroticism that Nintendo has trotted out since the original Super Mario Galaxy reveal in 1932. I say GODDAMN. Deliver me unto 2015.
I was pretty butt hurt when I first heard The Order: 1869-24-Numbers was getting delayed. Rubbing my dumper and muttering “Fucking DelayStation, yeha~~!” like the cool haters. But after watching this trailer last night, I’m all like. Oh. Shit. Take your time. This is looking wonderful. Rub it. Stroke it. To a glimmer. Nay, to a blinding sheen.
Fuck ya’ll! And fuck ya’ll gaming consoles! That’s what Electronic Arts and Comcast are saying, as they near a deal to stream EA games. It’s the Future, yo. It’s getting weird. And I’m liking it.
Sony has revealed their VR headset, dubbed “Project Morpheus.” Maybe I’m just old and showing my age, but I don’t really get up for this. If sitting in front of a video game isn’t already a Dystopia Made Real, completely detaching from others in your own house and rummaging around a virtual world seems a final consummation. On the other hand though, gimme the Black Sun from Snow Crash (my usual refrain).
Oh man. This is some next level trolling ish right here. Some dude or dudette pretended to be Ubisoft, and at least temporarily/successfully filed to cancel their trademark for Watch Dogs. Shout out to this person before they’re assuredly ushered off to some communal CorporoGulag on the dark side of the Moon. Your penchant for destruction and anarchy is probably only going to be matched in size by your pain at the hand of robo-hounds and psychic ninjas.
Nintendo’s releasing free mini-games on phones. Now, now. They’re mini-games, okay? Don’t go thinking they’re demos. Even though they’re short little games that are intended to get you to buy full games. Okay? Totally not demos. That sort of insanity would go against Nintendo’s pretty staunch stance against releasing titles on the mobile tip.
A hot new plate of podcast for you to engulf. Go ahead, throw it down that dirty gullet of yours. Oh, you want to know what that bubbling black ooze is? Or the gnarled tree branch looking things? Fine! Fine. If you must know what’s on this episode: more Star Wars talk (ugh, I know!), Caff complaining about a lot of things and articulating them poorly, Rendar’s lost son, the Ninja Turtles, the exhaustion of comic book culture, Riff’s first guitar solo played on whale bones, eating tortilla chips in the microphone, and more.
Hit the jump for the terror, or check us out on iTunes.
Yeah, that’s what Square Enix needs. More fucking bureaucracy. They’ve created a “Final Fantasy Committee” to oversee the franchise. With the franchise dying a general laughingstock for gamers of my generations, it’s good to see them making an effort. Makes sense. But I’m not sure it is needed. They could just try reading any news story written about them over the last twelve years.
Keiji Inafune making SPIRITUAL SUCCESSOR to ‘MEGA MAN’ called ‘MIGHTY NO. 9′; needs us to KICKSTART THIS BEAST
Keiji Inafune is leaning on us to help him out. Why should we lend a hand? The dude only created Mega Man. Now he wants to launch the spiritual successor to his iconic franchise, and it goes by the name of Mighty No. 9. The only problem? Dude needs like a solid milli. Milli buckos to get this fucker off the ground.
This is amazing. Reggie Something-Such has spent the last year seeing his Wii U largely forgotten by the world. But that ain’t stopping him from throwing around some disparaging remarks about his competition. When asked what he thought of the Xbox One and PS4 line-ups, duder dropped a “meh.”