Man, we have all sorts of fancy lights and shit these days to view the cosmos. Dropping violet lights on Sol in order to view its activity isn’t even special anymore. Let us use the various lenses and thingies and whatever to view sunspots. Let us use technology I can’t grasp to behold the source of our light.
Hey, it’s a gorgeous shot of Saturn’s sixth largest moon! Wee!
I’m glad that the aliens watching us fumble around our (obvious) initial birthplace on the surface of Mars get to bask in our ability to draw giant cocks. Oh yeah sure, we totally “didn’t mean to draw a furious cock on Mars”, but at the very least we have gone full Space Freud.
Goes Jiggly Puff? Hey, I don’t know. How the fuck do you describe a sexy picture of a supernova’s remnant? I got nothing.
I say goddamn! The Hubble has snapped an image of the rather well-known Horsehead Nebula. However, this picture ain’t like the one you’ve probably seen. This one is even more fucking gorgeous.
I ain’t never seen the Milky Way rise in the night sky, though if I ever do I am certain I will fall to my knees in space-supplication.
If you want to go to Mars so fucking badly that you don’t care if you come back, Mars One may be interested in your ass. Those of us who would rather wander Ares than ever suck air on Earth again will be able to apply for the trip. But wait, there is more! Should you spacefaring ass be chosen, you will then enter into some sort of zany reality show about the colonization of the planet.
Russia isn’t fucking around, folks. They’re dead set on establishing their Nuclear-Powered Illuminati hub on the surface of Europa. The Kremlin has recently unveiled the plan through which they shall engage such plans, covering up their obvious covert operations underneath the guise of a pretty, pretty, pretty beefy new space program.
The Mars Orbiter may have found remnants from the Soviet Union’s Mars 3 Lander. Pretty cool. What would be even cooler is if they’d reveal images from the top secret Illuminati Trilateral Commission base on the Red Planet. You know the one I’m talking about. The base that is run by Steve Jobs’ in his cloned body, with terra-forming labor being provided by disappeared teens. That’d be way cooler. Oh well, we will have to settle for “news” about this.