Weekend Open Bar: Here and There

weekend open bar here and there

It’s the Weekend! Open! Bar!

Still though!

I, I don’t got nothing to say. Been up since around 9 am, peak caffeine hit around six hours ago, and now I’m sort of downshifting my horrid, horrid, chemically-abysmal blood in preparation for a more relaxed evening. So, the invocations bring nothing to the finger tips. Especially since, if I’m being honest, I really want to be supine with a couple of funny books in my grubby paws.

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Uncharted 2 Impressions: Drake Is Crash Bandicoot With Better Hair

Uncharted 2 Impressions: Beautiful Destruction

G'damn Motocopter Thang!

I haven’t played Uncharted 2 in a day, and I’m beginning to get the tremors. I got to play with her for three hours yesterday, and I think about her longingly. I blame tutoring, sleeping too late, and being a general loser.

I remember that during the ad campaign for Gears of War, the game was described as having “beautiful destruction”. I thought it just had jacked dudes blowing up other WWF washouts. I dug the game, but there was nothing beautiful about it.

Uncharted 2? This son of a bitch is beautiful. Running through the war torn streets of Nepal, I felt a little guilty. I was just rocking the camera back and forth, trying to fit everything into the frame. Every little demolished bit of pavement was gorgeous. I shouldn’t be marveling at how beautiful a street littered with bodies can be, but I was.

I keep rambling about the graphics, but they’re more than just pretty pixels. It’s engrossing. It sucks you onto that streetscape.

And yeah, it would be nothing, without the gameplay. Fortunately for me, my last save is just after one of the craziest fucking action sequences I’ve ever seen. Spoilers after the jump.

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Uncharted 2 Impressions: Drake’s Got Sick Neck Hair


Fuck Paul Pierce, Uncharted 2 is the truth. I’ve played the game for about three hours this morning. And? Impressions?

First off, Nathan Drake has stunning neck hair. Most dudes know neck hair. It grows way faster than your regular hair. Mine seems to grow at roughly four-times the speed of my regular hair. And so every two weeks I make Pepsibones or my girlfriend shave it off with my Mach 17-Powerglide or whatever my razor happens to be.

Why is it even worth mentioning? The level of detail in Uncharted 2 is stunning. Naughty Dog has paid attention to all the little nuances that make this game absolutely gleam. I mean, seriously, they’ve spent enough time to give Drake neck hair. It isn’t even something I’d even think to incorporate.

Check out the characters in cut scenes. Especially the ones who aren’t speaking. They move their fingers, they shift their weight, their facial expressions are minimal but apparent.

Everything is ridiculously polished, every scene seems to be taken with exceptional care.

And secondly, I am really digging the way they’ve constructed the narrative. They’ve taken the J.J. Abrams’ special and incorporated it into a video game. You know the one I’m talking about – they start the character in the middle of a catastrophe, and then they cut back to the very beginning of the tale. It’s very reminiscent of how ODST was told, but I’m more impressed with its use in this title. Why? I think it’s because the lynch pin of the “current” moment was the faceless Rookie. Whereas in Uncharted 2, it’s a bloodied, destroyed Nathan Drake in the middle of some frozen tundrea.

I think the game begins with Drake saying, “This is my blood. This is lots of my blood.” Immediately I was snagged. Where the fuck is he, how the fuck did he get there, and why is he bleeding profusely.

Thirdly, the dialogue is great. The interaction between Drake and Sully is so generic buddy-adventure, but it’s done so well.

More as I play through this sexy collection of polygons. If you own a PS3 you owe it to your fun glands to snag this title.

Monday Morning Commute: Charts, Ghosts, And Murders


Monday Morning Commute.

Every Monday I’m going to detail the various things I’m either currently or will be watching, reading, playing, and listening to in the next seven days. It’s Monday. You’ve got a long week of school, work, or compulsive masturbation to get through. Tell me the arts that you’re indulging in, to stave off suicide. Check out my list after the jump:

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If You’re Playing Uncharted 2 Now, I’m Trying To Kill You With My Mind


Uncharted 2 Tweets For You, Allowing You To Express Nathan Drake’s Awesomeness In 150 chars.


Yes, Uncharted 2 features Twitter integration. Wowzers. What exactly can you tweet?

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