LIGHT YOUR HAIR ON FIRE AND SCARE YOUR LOVED ONES WITH POLEMICAL MUTTERINGS DENOUNCING THE ELDER GODS! It’s the only way to truly appreciate this column. With your heresy and their tears upon your soul! This is Weekend Open Bar! The weekly weekend column for us weakened weary existential wobblers. We gather around the bar, haphazardly hobbling up to stools. We share what we’re going to be doing across the next two days. Be it food we’re going to eat. Be it mind-enhancing chemicals we’re going to be ingesting. Be it loved ones we’re going to be spending time with. Whatever you’re up to! Share it! Whatever you’re thinking about! Spill it!

Read the rest of this entry »

Don’t breath too deep, friends. You see, they’re done with the fluoride in the water. That’s the old tip. They’ve moved on. Now it’s the nanobots. In the air. Infesting our cortex-bits. Prepping us for the ultimate in meta-data. Meta-cognitive data. Don’t breath too deep. Don’t breath at all, if you can help it. Reject the need for oxygen. Has anyone ever really shown you that you need it? If you didn’t believe you did? Eh? Oh — me? Off my meds? What is it to you, buster? Fuck you! No — no. Please come back. Partake in this here column. Monday Morning Commute.

The watering hole where we share the various arts we’re indulging on a given week. While we can. Before they activate nanobots.

Read the rest of this entry »

We’re a week out from Halloween. I’m doing this High 5 as a public service for adults out there. Get your shit together. There will be hoards of children outside your house dressed as ghouls, goblins, politicians, and ghosts. If you give them raisins or toothpaste or anything that isn’t candy, yummy, tooth decay enabling candy, you’re in for some trouble. So here’s my top 5 candy products that should always be given out for trick or treating.

Read the rest of this entry »

Hello.

My name is Rendar Frankenstein and I’m the host of the soiree that is the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE! At the beginning of every workweek, I take off my conformity-jacket so that you can peek at the heart on my sleeve. But the Hypernerd Realm is far too vast for one man to map on his own, so I’m going to need a little help. After you check out my methods of leveling-up, hit up the comments section and share yours.

This is about sharing ideas, the most human activity of all.

So let’s dance, you grubby fucks.

Read the rest of this entry »