Listen, I can’t speak to the classic installments featuring both characters. I can’t! I simply can’t. However, I know that in the modern iterations, Godzilla ain’t got shit on Kong. Look at that gif! He don’t want that smoke. Guarantee dude runs away, like he spent the entirety of his last movie doing. And then? Dude will probably roll up, blast Kong with a cheap-ass nuclear reactor blast, and everyone will jizz. But pound for pound? Grit for grit? Kong’s a goddamn mauler and we must respect him as such. All of this is probably just an overly long way to introduce this column with the notion that, yes, I’m officially excited for this movie.

But that ain’t all, folks! Fucks! Nope. I’m stoked for a bunch of other shit this week, and I’ll let you know all about them below. That is, after all, the function of the weekly Monday Morning Commute. Then you’ll hit up the comments section with your own musing. It’s the tacit agreement we have, friends.

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