Rumor: BRADLEY COOPER eyed to STAR in ‘INDIANA JONES’ reboot. Uhhhhhhh.

Bradley Cooper.

Uhhh. So like, how about this one? Bradley Cooper? Indiana Jones? That’s the word out of Latino Review’s corner of the rotting carcass that is the Pop Culture Interwebs. And friends, they get a lot of things right when it comes to rumors. But fuck yo, I don’t know how I feel about this. Whatever. I’m just going to nod to myself and repeat the phrase “It can’t be worse than Crystal Skull” until I attain Nirvana. Or go back to playing Second Son. One of those two.

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Oh golly, these fucking bones. No wonder my asshole is leaking more than usual. The gray hairs are taking up serious residence on my dome-piece. I’m getting old. Not only am I aging like a motherfucker, but I’m getting reminders of my forthcoming senility too.

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