Monday Morning Commute: Teleport Rape Dream

For your sake, I hope you never have to live life as I do – in the mindset of a crotchety old man.

Sometimes, when I’m especially tired or caffeine-deprived, I can’t help but see change as anything but a pain in the ass. I mean, if you’ve been frequenting Omega-Level regularly, you’ll have noticed a number of recent additions. I should be excited. Really. Instead, I find myself grumbling under my breath, waxing nostalgic for the glory days of OL that never existed.

I mean, why shouldn’t I be excited about all the advertisements on the site? Not only do I get to share my thoughts with the world, but I get to help hawk products such as Norwich University, Dragons of Atlantis, and eFax!

Get `em while they’re hot, suckahs!

Moreover, this site is now rife with all sorts of strange characters! There’re sneaks amongst us, vaginas sliding into the fold, and probably a couple of freaks fiendin’ for another teleportation rape-dream! It’s a veritable gathering!

Okay – time to take an Alka Seltzer and plow through this post.

Thissere’s the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE! You don’t even have to be a cantankerous bastard like me to know that the workweek sucks. As such, I’m going to show you some of the bits of entertainment I’ll be using to survive until the weekend. Your task is to hit up the comments and show off the various ways you’ll be ignoring the overwhelming responsibilities of real life.

Pull your damn pants up and let’s do this!

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Now Listening: Odd Future – “Oldie”

‘Cause the new song dropped and we’re hitting the show tonight.

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Monday Morning Commute: Breastfeed the Homeless

If you’re reading this, it means that you survived Monday, the most dastardly day of the week. For it is on this day that we are forced to return to our places of business, to do the bidding of others in the hopes that we may one day fulfill our own dreams. Unless you’re last name is Thoreau and you’ve got a friend who’ll loan you a nice bit of land, chances’re that you’re not taking yourself off the grid. Instead, you’re going to deal with a bullshit commute to get to job you don’t love so as to be able to pay the bills.


But since we’re all in this together, we might as well pool our minds together and come up with an antidote to workweek ennui. Thissere’s the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE – the weekly post in which I share with you the various ways I’ll be entertaining myself until the weekend. Your task, should you choose to accept it, is to hit up the comments section and show off the Fun-Weapons you’ll be using while we pillage Boringville.

Without further adieu, let’s fuggin’ ROCK!

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TRAILER: OFWGKTA’s Adult Swim Madness, ‘Loiter Squad’

OFWFKTA continue their domination with their Adult Swim show. It looks equal parts Tim and Eric  and Jackass. I know I’ll be watching. Definitely an acquired taste, and that taste is something like “juvenile dementia”.

Hit the jump to check it out.

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Monday Morning Commute: The Mediocre One

Hello there, fellow drone-bees! The workweek is upon us yet again, and we once again find ourselves hiding our true desires behind dead-skin masks. For forty hours a week, even the strongest and most original amongst us assume the personae of the tired and damned. In these times, we are nothing if not the hollow shells we’ve worked so hard to fill during off-hours.

Gatsby is jolted in the middle of the night, awakened by the American nightmare that sees him whimpering ,”Gatz…Minnesota…Dan Cody…”

Draper drinks and screws and sells himself into a life of luxury, and yet cannot shed the skin of Whitman’s despondency.

Kent writes the headlines that Superman inspires, but Kal-El will never get over the fact that he is the last survivor of a doomed lineage.

In spite of our most transcendental aspirations, there will always be forces working to keep us tethered to the material realities. And the most formidable of these forces is the bastard-thief known as the workweek. So there’s any hope of saving ourselves, we’ve only got one option.

We must remove our entertainment-swords from their scabbards and use them to slit the throat of the bastard-thief.


Welcome to the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE! I’m going to show you the various bits of entertainment I’ll be using to preserve my spirit during the workweek. Your task, should you feel up to it, is to hit up the comments section and show off the ways you’ll be keeping your heart alive.

Let’s do this!

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Now Listening: Hodgy, Domo Genesis And Tyler, The Creator – Rella

New OFWGKTA in the house! As ever, I’m torn. Their genuine insanity, ingenuity, and do-it-yourself monstrosities blow me away. At the same time, they’re so overtly (even if they’re the worst thing of all, ‘only kidding’) sexist and homophobic that I have to cringe through my grins.

Hit the jump to check out their new video. It’s fucking insane.

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Kid Draws Odd Future All Over His Math Quiz; Swag Time.

I’m not certain why this kid didn’t get a 100. I hope the “see me after class” is to give the motherfucker a high-five in person.

Odd Future Does Funny Or Die Skit; Fuggin’ Swag.

Odd Future is fucking blowing up, and I love it. These motherfuckers hit Funny or Die up with a skit that is centered around them getting signed. Maybe it’s because I’m a purple-donged fanboy for these guys, but it’s fucking hilarious. Also, any skit that involves Katy Perry, Selena Gomez and fucking mouths, I’m down with.  The skit is like the group: awesome, crude, swag.

Hit the jump for the video.

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Monday Morning Commute: Monster Attaxx!

Sometimes the Monday Morning Commute is prefaced with a short story or anecdote. Not today. Instead, I’m going right for the top-turnbuckle so that I can drop the entertainment elbow. You know the drill – I show you what I’m going to do in my free time to avoid insanity (or perhaps induce it). And then you, as a loyal reader of OL, hit up the comments section and do the same.

Let’s dance, Sally.


Rockin’ / OFWGKTA – Radical


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