And these sneakers are super-swank-masturbation, no? Good friend of mine, and newly minted contributor, Patrick brought these bad boys to my attention. I think he enjoys showing me sneakers that I couldn’t even fit my big toe into. You son of a bitch, Patrick!

Hypebeast breaks down these studs:

Inspired by the DeLorean DMC-12, Nike 6.0 Introduces the Limited-Edition DeLorean Nike Dunk, a Fusion of Innovation and Style. Influenced by the DMC-12′s aerodynamic design and trademark characteristics, Nike reinterpreted the car’s sleek stainless steel exterior into a matte silver, no-sew constructed upper while also taking cues from the gull-wing doors on the bottom eyestay. The shoe’s outsole references the Delorean’s tail lights and the DMC-12′s rear window shades reappear as graphic lines on the heel replacing the traditional stitches. Meanwhile, the Belfast stamp on the tongue is a nod to the Irish factory that originally produced the vehicle.

Sexiness. Hit the jump for a gallery of these time-traveling sex pieces.

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Oh shit! Now, these kicks aren’t specifically referenced as Tron sneakers. So maybe they’re not really Tron-themed. They’re called Nike Lunar Mariahs. But let’s be honest, they’re a perfect compliment to anything Tron. Get them, wank off to your VHS of the original movie, and await the sequel with panting lungs.

Oh shit! The future is about to arrive, and none of us are fucking ready! As it is scientifically known, Back to the Future provided a glimpse into the true future. I know we’ve been clamoring for it, and it has taken a while, but the first signs of its arrival is about to rear its head.

Self-tying sneakers. Fuck yes.

Deadspin:

The automatic lacing system provides a set of straps that can be automatically opened and closed to switch between a loosened and tightened position of the upper. The article further includes an automatic ankle cinching system that is configured to automatically adjust an ankle portion of the upper.

Welcome to the fucking future. It’s deliciously swank in here.