Press Start: Suda Horny, Michael


The world of video games is an industry powered by the inane grins of fuckwitts flailing to Just Dance and the sweaty wank-palms of teens prestiging for the nineteenth time on Black Ops II. Occasionally though, this fecal assembly line spews out the odd gem, inspires the odd moment of creativity and even showcases some of the most inventive minds working today. I guess, on the whole, it isn’t quite so bad. Perhaps I should put my cynicism aside. “What’s that? Assassin’s Creed with pirates? You mean the only decent mechanic in the entire of Ass Creed III was simply to test the market for the next title?” Excuse me whilst I wretch over the starboard bow. No wonder I’m so cynical. Before I hurt someone, here’s a round-up of the less-shit things that happened in gaming this week.

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Kojima didn’t want RAIDEN’S SILLY ASS for ‘Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance’

Raiden. Could have been Gray Fox. JFC.

Hand it to Kojima. Usually all he wants to do is vomit up nonsensical philosophical cut scenes, and continuing building games where Jesus Christ-Am-I-Crouching-Or-Am-I-Crawling moments occur. However, in the making of Metal Gear Arrogance: Silly Titles Slash time, the good sir had a great fucking idea. To not put Raiden in that title.

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E3 is coming, and before it arrives it seems intent on dropping mad trailers on our skulls. Mad trailers! (Suburban hustle right here) The latest game to get a trailer is Metal Gear Rising: You’ve Got To Be Kidding Me That’s Not A Word, and the trailer itself seems pretty fucking awful. I love it.

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