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Search Engine Terms: Bible Thumpers Are Finding Us

[Search Engine Terms come from an app in the Word Press dashboard. It tells you the terms that people are using in google to lead to your site. Most of ours are ultra depraved and horrible. And amusing to sick people like me.]

Yesterday, I posted about Rob Liefeld’s awesome take on a particular bible verse: Matthew 27:51-52. You know, Zombie Jesus and shit. Since then, said verse has been trending in the search terms that bring people here.

Oh Jesus.

Maybe the people are searching for it, because of Zombie Jesus, and coming here. But if they aren’t? I almost feel remorseful. Just a good God-fearing bible thumper wanting to brush up on some verse. Then they stumble across this Den of Debauchery. If we’re not enough to send a b-boy of Christ into a Eucharist binge, I don’t know what would be. I can picture then just smashing Christbody wafers between teeth, frantically rattling off Hail Marys.

I almost feel bad. Then I giggle.

Rob Liefeld Tackles Bible Plotholes; Brings Us Zombie Jesus. Awesomebomb.

Jesus fucking Christ. Just when I thought that Rob Liefeld couldn’t rock any harder, the dude is bringing us Zombie Jesus. His webcomic is designed to tackle this passage from the Bible:

MATTHEW 27:51-52:

The earth shook, the rocks broke and tombs opened and many men and women who had died came back to life again. They left the cemetery and went into the city and appeared to many people there.

Fucking. Fantastic. This shit is far too amazing to be true. But it is. Oh, yes, it is. I know I’ve always sat around and scratched my head at this scripture. Sitting here, a Man of the Lord, wondering what exactly happened after My Lord and Savior was nailed to the cross, but prior to him self-rezzing and rocking out to the Pentacost and shit. And now religious beacon and soothsayer Rob Liefeld is ready to unveil what is obviously the Truth.

After the crucifixion, supernatural warfare tore apart the Roman Provinces. Zombie Hordes attacked Jerusalem in search of the corpse of Christ. The Disciples were under siege as the Undead tore apart the countryside and an unlikely hero, LAZARUS THE IMMORTAL emerged to combat the Legion of Dead!

Phew. No really, he’s writing this. I can’t make this shit up. And I’m grateful to Mr. Liefeld, who is unafraid to spit the true gospel and illumination upon us, the sheep of our Lord.

Again, Jesus fucking Christ, this shit is bananas. Like, I can’t believe that this is being done, and I’m so grateful that this insanity is puking out of his mind that I want to shake his hand and let him know what an amazing act of absurdity his existence has to be considered. Rob Liefeld, you are a god damn saint. Saint Hoof Feet.

Want to see a fucking preview of this insane bullshit? Of course you do. hit the jump.

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