‘Halo 5’ Launch Trailer: Of Course Master Chief Goes Rogue

‘Halo 5: Guardians’ Cover Art: Yo Dawg I Heard You Like Spartans

‘Halo 5’ hitting Xbox One on October 27. This is a (master) chief opportunity for Microsoft

halo fiv3

GET IT? Master chief opportunity? Cause it looks like fucking Halo 5 is the only AAA, console-exclusive title actually making its 2015 release date! SHIT PUNS.

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Next ‘HALO’ dropping this year. Teabag your bro with glee.

Halo 4

My XB1 is neat. Sitting there. Talking to me. Being like “Hey man, Kinect’s scanning your dong. Telling people six inches? LOL c’mon braj know thyself. The truth will get you free.” However outside of scanning my minuscule weiner it isn’t doing much. But if it can stay strong for the next few months, it appear it’ll be getting some Master Chief action later this year.

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Yeahhh! Pig alert! I can’t help it (Yes I can, I’m just a piece of shit.) I want to swerve my swizzle stick all around Master Chief’s blue-bummed aid’s ass. Or something. What am I even talking about? So tired. Oh yeah! Being attracted to polygons. Cortana. Yum yum. Microsoft must know that I’m not alone, because they’re calling their Siri equivalent “Cortana.”

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Cosplay: Honey I shrunk the MASTER CHIEF. Get it? Wakka wakka.

Tiny stature, enormous swagger.

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GEORGE WASHINGTON was MASTER CHIEF? Take that, vampire hunter.

‘HALO 4’ DETAILS: Cortana Is Dying, Forerunners, And More.

Take this batch of Halo 4  information upside your head. Take it! It’s full of details, the Forerunners, and Cortana pulling her buttcheeks apart and downloading the Universe into her soul.

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