Oh come all ye degenerates, the Bar is Open. It’s the Weekend. Let us gather around the slime-soaked tavern fire, spitting whimsy and regret. Spitting about what we’re doing this weekend. Be it a movie we’re going to see, a meal we’re going to eat, a transdimensional omnisexual Manta-Beast we’re going to bang.
[face of a franchise presents two individuals that’ve fulfilled the same role. your task – choose the better of the two and defend your choice in the rancor pit that is the comments section]
Most us are nothing more than sacks of flesh feebly held together with some chicken-finger ligaments. We’re weak, cowardly, and directionless. The human condition, if you haven’t noticed, is not generally teeming with dignity. Consequently, we rely on those who manage to combine natural talent with hard work so as transcend the mundane. Whether into the realms of fiction or reality, we all venture forth in hopes of finding a hero.
So there’s really nothing more treacherous than when a hero turns his back on his admirers.
Unfortunately, there’re more than a few examples of our heroes failing us. No, these don’t include instances in which our champions fight on our behalves but fall short. Hell, dying for a cause might be the most heroic act of all. Instead, idols truly disappoint us when they disregard the joy and admiration we’ve afforded them, essentially spitting upon the very people who’ve forged the crowns adorning their heads.
So this begs the question – who is the most traitorous hero of all? Well, we’ve narrowed it down to two contenders: LeBron James and Hollywood Hogan.
Much like a dragons, Macho Man Randy Savage has faded into myth. Much like dragons, it has been written (by no one save for me, maybe) that he will live again! Now he does in a pretty ridiculous Skyrim mod.
Well shit. Macho Man Randy Savage has been killed today in a car accident.
Macho Man Randy Savage is one of the baddest motherfuckers alive. Fact, not opinion. Nothing can stop him. Not time, nor drugs, nor the death of Miss Elizabeth. After parting ways in 1994, the WWE and Macho Man have reunited, and it has resulted in awesome. The Macho Man has cut a fucking ridiculous promo for THQ’s upcoming WWE All-Stars. In something that is no less than a nostalgia-bomb-orgasm for me, Macho Man rambles on for a good minute and a half. Dude drops lines like “COMPLETE MENTAL INSANNNNNNNNNNITY” and “FUNKY LIKE A MONKEY.” Jesus Christ, I wish I was on set for this.
Oh childhood, I miss you.
Hit the jump for the video.