#September2014

New Dude sets ‘Donkey Kong’ all-time high score

Robbie Lakeman

A ne-ne-ne-new champion has conquered the Donkey Kong ring. Smashing barrels, buckets, steel-chairs, and unsavory, sharp objects into the souls of previous Donkey Kong high-score holders. His name is Robbie Lakeman. But you can call him the King of Kong! Get it? Like the movie! I’M SO CHEESY.

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Seth Gordon is directing the ‘UNCHARTED’ movie adaptation

Uncharted.

Seth Gordon! I don’t really have an opinion on the guy either way. Saw Horrible Bosses. Shrugged. Saw The King of Kong. Loved it. So he’s batting 50/50 in the minuscule “Movies I’ve Seen By Seth Gordon” department. His next shot at blowing my nipples into a rugged mess? The Uncharted movie.

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Current Donkey Kong Champion Gets His Own Documentary: Doctor Kong.

Look at this fucking interloper! Not only has plastic surgeon Hank Chien wrested the title away from Billy Mitchell and Steve Wiebe’s eternal ballet of death, now the dude is getting his own documentary. Directed by Alexis Neophytides, Doctor Kong: Cutting Up the Competition has already screened in Brooklyn with more viewings opening up later this month.

Hit the jump for the trailer.

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Billy Mitchell Opens A “King of Kong” Arcade. Pro Mode Douche!

Billy Mitchell may not be the literal king of Donkey Kong anymore. But that doesn’t stop the enterprising motherfucker from cashing in on the flick that made him the biggest douchebag awesometron Vader motherfucker in the video game world. No sir. Mitchell has opened a King of Kong-themed arcade at the Orlando International Airport. Most amazing part of the entire arcade? According to Joystiq, “there’s not a Donkey Kong arcade machine to be found within the joint.”

As they pontificate, he probably doesn’t want his already-crushed record to once again be usurped within the confines of his own establishment.

Mitchell is awesome. This is only further proof.

King of Kong! Yet Another Gorilla Stealing Poor Peach. [She digs it.]

[Source: zero-lives via Gamefreaks]

I find the implications of a gorilla stealing a blond-haired, white princess to be horribly racist.

Or something.