Monday Morning Commute: The sky above the port was the color of television

Monday Morning Commute! On a Monday Evening! Truthfully, this tardiness is, relativistically speaking, pretty good compared to my usual antics. In fact, this column would have slithered out of my mind-hole earlier had the words come to me. Sometimes the Muses toss lightning bolts up your ass, and you feel Empowered. Emboldened. Surfing The Edge. Sometimes the Muses retreat to a 7-Eleven bathroom to trib with faeries and knaves and satyrs. Coating themselves in the slickening sugary confections we pass off as food, writhing in wrappers and detritus, orgasming in supplication to the Eternal Engine which neither Cares nor Notices us.

Today? For me? The Muses are fucking around with the fucking faeries in the fucking bathroom.  But still, I persist. But still, I exist. Put that on a Hallmark card and staple it onto my forehead, I know it’s fucking lame.

Today? For me? I’m going to write this column anyways. Even though the Muses ain’t here. I’m going to tell you everything I’m excited about this week. Even though the Muses ain’t here. I’m going to ask you to join me, vapid, broken, banal me, in the comments section, letting me know what you are excited for this week. Even though the Muses ain’t here.

Well? Shall we?

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‘Jason Bourne’ Trailer: I Know Who I Am (A Violent, Confused Man)

‘Jason Bourne’ Super Bowl Trailer: Damon Gonna Knock You Out

‘Bourne 5′ Set Photo: Damon is back as Bourne. Lookin’ yoked as all futz~

Yokkked BRUH

The producer of the fifth Bourne movie dropped this image today. It displays a considerably ripped+shredded Matt Damon clearly wrapping up after punching baddies on the first day of production. I’m cool with the picture. It’s cool. Let’s do this.

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