Oh golly glory fucking shit-tits. Jar Jar Abrams is apparently kicking off Star Wars Celebration this April in a “big way.” Which means to this uneducated slob that the jealousy-inspiring fools in attendance are going to get some fucking Force Awakens trailer hotness.

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I don’t know why, but I’m just going to call him Jar Jar Abrams until he proves himself otherwise. Do I think he will? YES. Is that going to get in the way of me calling him such until the first trailer comes out and BLOWS OFF MY TITS? NO. Said Jar Jar has added one of his total BFFs to the cast of Episode VII.

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