‘Star Wars’ Non-News: J.J. Abrams kicking off ‘Star Wars Celebration’ in “big (fucking) way”

J.J. Abrams.

Oh golly glory fucking shit-tits. Jar Jar Abrams is apparently kicking off Star Wars Celebration this April in a “big way.” Which means to this uneducated slob that the jealousy-inspiring fools in attendance are going to get some fucking Force Awakens trailer hotness.


Star Wars: The Force Awakens director J.J. Abrams will kick off this year’s Star Wars Celebration — the semi-annual, official Star Wars fan festival — with Lucasfilm president Kathleen Kennedy on April 16, the official Star Wars website announced today. Abrams and Kennedy will start the show “in a big way,” the announcement reads.

“This will be a day long remembered — trust us,” the official site reads. It seems possible, if not very likely, that Abrams and Kennedy will bring with them new footage or a new trailer for Star Wars: The Force Awakens. The first teaser trailer for Episode VII, which ran a scant 88 seconds, was released in November.

The four-day Star Wars Celebration kicks off on Thursday, April 16 at 10 a.m. PT at the Anaheim Convention Center. Polygon will be in attendance to bring you all the news from the show.

In addition to Abrams and Kennedy, the Star Wars fan festival will feature special guests Carrie Fisher, Anthony Daniels and Kenny Baker from the original trilogy. The cast and creators of Star Wars Rebels will also appear, as will other special guests.

Star Wars Celebration 2015 will also be home to a pair of special screenings. Fans can screen Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith in 3D for the first time and get a rare viewing of the Navajo-language dub of Star Wars: A New Hope.

Tickets for this year’s Star Wars Celebration are on sale now. A four-day pass costs $140, while single-day tickets cost $60-$75.

I am Luke Skywalker’s Rage-Filled Desperation at not being there.