I haven’t played Hyper Light Drifter, but it’s on the list! Provided, you know, Bateman and I ever beat Dead Cells. That said, it looks fucking dope, and the developer’s follow-up does as well.
What the fuck! I want my Hyper Light Drifter. So I’m excited it has a release date! What the fuck! I want my Hyper Light Drifter. So I’m sad that the console release date is a vague “coming soon” in comparison to its rock hard computational machines release date.
Titty fuck a Shit Golem! I’m dumb. You knew that? Yeah, probably. But let me enumerate the most recent reason. Despite being really up on Hyper Light Drifter‘s jock I didn’t throw money at the Kickstarter. And if I had, I would totally be getting to play a preview build on September 26. Fuck! Shit!
Fuck you and your headlines, Caff-Pow! It’s like you’re thirteen Diet Dews and a Sudafed deep! Reality is buzzing and forget headlines, between the mucous drip and the shakes you can barely maintain a presence in this plane of reality! I say — precisely! But while I’m here, I’m going to enjoy the news that Hyper Light Drifter is dropping this holiday.
…hello there, friends. Caffeine Powered at your service. I do not say leisure, for I am a busy’d man these days. It is a Sunday Evening whilst I type this, it will be a Monday Morning on the Eastern Seaboard of the Theoretically United States when this is published. As I tippy-type, I race the literal clock. How can I share with you what I am going to be enjoying in this next week (as per the nature of Monday Morning Commute), while still finishing before Breaking Bad begins? Easy. By doing what I always do. By typing with stunning alacrity, nauseating disregard for grammatical form, and an utter disregard for proof-reading.
Let’s do this, you turkeys.